Ten Caat

Susan Boyle Wonder if anyone will have the bare necked front to pamp her up tomorrow as fridays offering

They're all available to watch on you tube I found out today. Spent near an hour and a half in glorious nostalgia. Quite a few from late 60s I had never seen afore. Jimmy Savile is is in a puckle o em ana

Getting on in the day and no sign of a hussy to discuss(y) so I'll throw this one into the mix. Jane McCarry (Isa from Still Game). Would you give her the Boaby?

Tartan Special.....couldn't stand it by itself but in a black n tan was sheer nectar. Wouldnt dare risk drinking it nowadays, it fair cleared you out the next morning after 6 pints, Id be terrified now I'd shart ma punts before last orders. Aztec and Texan bars. Caused many a filling in my youth. Kids playing hopscotch, British bulldogs, and my personal favourite.... chicky-melly Public information broadcasts. Loved Joe and Petunia calling the coastguard; Charlie the cat saving the wee boy from a paedo, self immolation etc; and the family that got a burst pipe and spring into action like a squad of well drilled Red Army sodgers

1. God 2. Snelders 3. Simmie

Bjorn gives it laldy.......Does Your Mother Know

Fortieth birthday wife asked what sort of party I wanted ( shes now ex wife btw). I told her f@ck all, but behind my back she goes and organises one anyway. Now my birthday falls on Hogmanay. I just wanted a quiet day see the bells in and hit the pillow by 130/2am tops. Anyway I got wind of things around 27th/28th. I stewed on things for 24 hours then told her on 29th I knew about the party and that while she was welcome to proceed with her plans, I would be checking into a hotel and would be back late evening on neerday. Poor cow spent next 6 hours on phone cancelling all guests. Probably seem a right ungrateful c@nt but that was just how I was at the time. Grumpy bastard definately. Was it age related? Possibly, I just developed a talent for saying exactly what I thought rather than biting my tongue as I had done in situations in younger years.

Best we can hope for is Clinton gets in somehow thus saving the world from Trump's unique brand of mad bastardness, then within weeks of moving into the White House, she gets impeached. Both candidates are cretins par excellance

You can get cremola foam ( its got a new name Krakatoa Fizz) out all those American sweetie shops that are springing up everywhere. Tastes exactly the same but a helluva lot more expensive than the original

I'd be more than happy to give her a hammerstroke on her E string ( not a fan of the G string). I can even forgive her starting a band with that tosspot from Dumbarton David Byrne.

Stick yer ma's photie on here and Buc might be cleaning oot her lum by the weekend

One baguette short of a picnic Belgian, King of the Divan, take it away Monsieur Plastic Bertrand https://youtu.be/v98HEQvtpgo

Ok its on the time machine back to the mid 80s and I know I said I much prefer raven headed totty but this is the exception that proves the rule. It's Heart guitarist Nancy Wilson

School milk....used to boak being forced to drink it apparently I stopped drinking milk aged 2, ma says i would hurl the bottle. Still can't stand the taste of milk to this day. Rag and bone mannie. Young eens if you don't know what this is watch out for Steptoe and Son films appearing on late night ITV 2/3/4 usually on a couple of times a year, always at Xmas. Rock stars choking on their own vomit. ( Has anyone ever choked on somebody elses vomit ffs). Red telephone boxes Red telephone boxes on fire at night cos someone had stuffed 6 matches into the light so they ignited when the heat from the bulb caused a chain reaction. I definately never ever saw this being done mind.

Its a B from me, was a close call nearly a C+ but I'm giving the benefit of the doubt on strength of reaching a cup final, albeit McInnes better buck up his ideas when we play the dhims. Overall his signings have been above average, O'Connor very very good and Maddison inspired just hope Norwich let us extend to end of season. Morris I kinda get, I think O' Connor was signed to be a defensive midfielder and as such we need central defensive cover but things have worked out differently and wouldnt surprise me to see Morris leave on a free to a Falkirk or similar in January. Storey is a different matter......I presumed he was signed to give us lightning pace up front with the idea of forming a partnership with Rooney. But before it gets a chance to be tried we then go out and get Burns on a loan who seems to me to offer exactly the same qualities as Storey, I am presuming in order to get the loan through Deek has promised Bristol that Burns will feature regularly and thus Storey has been pretty much sidelined and as Stockley offers a differeent option it is who is getting the nod to come off the bench and getting the occasional start. We now need to take 9 points from our next 3 games to keep pace with sevco who finally seem about to hit a run of form, and who's next 4 matches are all very winnable. Hearts have taken a dip and have a couple of potential banana skins in the same period. Overall I think we will pip sevco for second with Fartz trailing 7-9 point further back in a close fight with the Fermers for 4th

Heard this one on Jonathan Ross Sunday radio show about 10 years ago. Was apparently released in 1971, just a bit too early for me to remember, but as a bass player I just love the bass groove.

She does indeed possess a hairy growler ( saw it a few years back in a film she was playing the part of a nudist couple alongside that berk Robert Webb). Her figure has definately improved in the intervening years too......she is ageing like a fine wine and im the very man to pop her cork. http://images.celebritymoviearchive.com/members/thumbs/sd/o/4113/OliviaColeman@Confetti-6-CMA_1-500.jpg

Durrant for Rocket Scientist for calling a dressing "fragrant and beautiful". Only time thast phrase should ever be used on here is when describing the used panties of a WYOWYN babe..

My preference is for raven haired minxes, blondes on the whole have never really done it for me so if I was to do a blonde she would have to be really really special. Pink however is very much a "meh". It's a big fat no from me

First 60 our passing was atrocious even simple 5 yard passes going astray. Shay guiltier than most, his miscontrol giving away the throw in which led to the cross coming in which he then proceeded to head straight to Rogic and bang! we are one down. McLean an absolute hindrance yet again, McGinn anonymous and Reynolds as is the norm these days getting bullied by the oppo striker. Big improvement when Maddison and Rooney came on but only really threatened them in last 10 minutes. I'm actually glad Maddison didn't start, if he played full 90 i have absolutely no doubt lego muncher or Lustig would have attempted to crock him so he would miss the final. One final thing, was kistening to Keevins and Hun Johnstone on Clyde phone in this evening, they both said a) Shinnie should have went down but even so it was still a penalty b) However Hayes should have been sent off for pushing Brown to the floor off the ball. And in the same incident Rooney possibly gives Brown a sly kick while he's down. I never saw the incident, dont know how I missed it but plenty callers ( all dhims) backed Keevins up

Bizarrely both Mondays and Thursdays WYOWYN offerings appeared earlier this evening on Pointless celebrities, an edition featuring 8 "comedians" only one of whom, Justin Moorehouse, has ever made me titter. Neither of our offerings made the final, bloody Rhona Cameron did, a woman who is about as funny as getting dysentery whilst trapped in a lift. Surprisingly though, I did find the notorious lesbian strangely attractive. She's a year older than me so I'm putting it down to me beginning the male menopause.

What a lot of folk don't realise regarding space travel is that even in the 70s the technology was available to build a space vehicle which could be accelerated to speeds very close to the speed of light...when i say near its about 3/4 speed of light. This type of speed id required to travel any great distance in the universe. ( as a comparison the rockets used to go to the moon were doing speeds of around a ten millionth of the speed of light). 2 huge obstacles have prevented us from doing so. The first being cost. Whilst the technology is theoretically available actual production costs would be astronomically high. However the second and actually most important reason is that its actually supplying the astronauts with enough oxygen, food and water for missions that would last about 5 years to reach even our nearest star at 3/4 speed of light ( and obviously a further 5 years to get back. This is why NASA concentrated on the space shuttle and the international space station rather than continuing lunar missions or mars expeditions.

According to some Huns the board went round various banks in Edinburgh in October looking for loans and got knocked back every time.

Only as much as to escape our atmosphere, as said before once in space there's 0 gravity so with conservation of energy the spacecraft is essentially using no fuel from around 100 miles up. There is a very small supply of fuel in the landing module used to fire up a reverse thrust to slow the craft down on final descent to the lunar surface, and also to provide literally a few seconds thrust to escape the lunar atmosphere on returning to earth. (Remember the lunar atmosphere and gravity is about one sixth of that on earth, coupled with the fact the mass of the landing module is tiny compared to that of the launch rocket at take off from Cape Canaveral, where some of the fuel initially used is in effect used to carry the fuel required to escape our atmosphere).

Nah it'll be Wallace despite virtually every Hun demanding he gets dropped as his performances have been honking week in week out. Strachan is almost reaching Macghoo levels of hatred here in chez Ten Caat