InversneckieDob

I'm nae seeing these Simmie/Durrant rating things?

Oh fuck aye. Proper mannie's ride, that'd be.

I like Ireland the country, used to be a very regular visitor back in the day. If it wasn't for Ireland, for huge swathes of the 90s I would've had no sex life.

I wish I had a 9 inch cock....rather than this awkward big bastard o' a thing.

Why? Has he taken up bell-ringing? He looks a bit of a campanologist.

Halloween 1970 v The Joooot . We were in yon Chelsea away strip, a' blue, white socks. Won 4-0, think Joey got 2.

Nae really a bust up, but the closest I ever came to a mother and father of a bleaching was in Dundeh. Getting the train back fae Embra, what, mid late 80s, canna mind the exact game, we had to change at Dundeh. Had a bit of time to kill, so sat in teh station bar, about 6 of us as I recall. I had a Dons baseball cap on and in the course of "horseplay" it gt grabbed aff my heid and lobbed. Some little joot scrote grabbed in and made off with it. My pal Titch (ironically named, massive and well handy) took off efter him. I thought if he was in the mix, we were in with a shout (I'm massive also but saft as shite) so I took off 'n' a. We tailed the boy oota the station, he had about 20 yards to make up on the boy I was the same behind him. Into toon, the boy disappears roond a corner, Titch followed. When I got just aboot to the corner Titch passed me like a bat out of hell going the opposite way and screamed "RUN". Suckered bonny we'd been dragged into an ambush, must've been 20 or 30 of them. I never knew I could run that quick. What a fucking speed I got up on the road back to the station. Thankfully, they never followed us in. In my experience, Joooot have always liked nice odds in their favour.

Fucking right we are, you cunt. Daphne Broon's pish flaps.

Hello. It's me. That's all.

Well this seems a quaint neighbourhood bar......... Pint of Bishop's Foreskin please.