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Wednesday 19th June 2024

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kick-off 8pm

The Golf Thread


Garlogie_Granite

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1 minute ago, 360 said:

Golf is a girly version of cricket. 

Hrmph ? 

I reckon it's one of the toughest mental examinations there is. Used to be addicted to playing it - 50 medal rounds during the year my youngest was born, not including bounce games, match play events and team matches - but more happy watching it getting done properly these days and like all habits, we fall in and out of them. Haven't played since Panmure in December and turned down an invitation this week to play Troon next week with one of my pro clients I invented in my multiple personality imagination. Missing being out there though. Carnoustie was so good last week for a couple of days but this year will be the first time for over a decade I haven't been to the best course on the planet, the Lytham Trophy having been cancelled.

On girly matters, what do you think of Yoga? The new mat that my wife ordered came today and I tried it for the first time during lockdown when daughter 2 was home and showed me. It's fucking tougher than it looks. I refrained from doing a down dog as my postie asked for. He's ST at Pittodrie and is always giving me pelters about Cove. 

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As I sold 11 x Dacia Dusters this morning, a used Mercedes S600 (cost more than the new cars!) and took an order for a new Audi RS, the sales manager gave me the afternoon off. Got my feet up looking forward to watching 8 hours of golf. The Audi buyer was an oil wank. Hope he gets laid off the day after I deliver it to him.

The problem I have with the Sky commentators is manyfold. McGinley hacking it round this week is disappointing as he's taken a place that keep out dozens of golfers who are fighting for their careers. What really gets me is that they refer to him as a stats expert and he's clearly not, as he has obviously invested very little in the field of performance measurement. But everyone is an expert in this game, eh? He has been banging on about bounce-back-ability for over a decade now. He reckons this stat - which we do NOT offer on my platform - is a good indicator of mental strength, the ability to follow a dropped shot with a birdie but it's not at all. If you consider the 13th at Carnoustie, a narrow-greened par 3 where every golfer is happy with par. This hole yields loads of bogeys and worse and is followed by the 14th, a two shot par 5 which is normally the easiest hole on the course. Similarly the road hole on the Old, the 17th is followed by a drive-able par 4 and again, so many of the field follow a dropped shot with a pick-up. That stat - only in Amerikuh (and I think they may have even dropped it now) - is much more to do with course layout than mental fortitude.

Another thing that annoys me greatly on Sky is that they pretend that "Boxy" (winner of the fifth major by the way, his only win) is some sort of expert at predicting the cut and he gets it wrong more times than not.

Radar is my fav on Sky but even his fancying "going down the left wing" at 15 yesterday made no sense to me. It's a hole every single one of you golf fans will remember from the Ryder Cup but at 280 yards (going at it straight rather than the dogleg), with 3 Wood, with a helping breeze as Radar described, none of them were hitting Driver even. He's always going on about "he'll fancy this" with regards to pitch ins, which never happens of course but at least this is valuable coaching instruction that can be borrowed from him. Unless we see the possibility of holing it, even from 30 or 40 feet with a putt, it generally won't fall. It's more about the mind rather than the mechanics. Radar's got a great attitude. Sarah in real life is absolutely stunning by the way. Saw her on the first hole at Troon (when Stenson won) and where I thought she was a bit plain-Jane from the telly, she's got superb aura.

Edited by rocket_scientist
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Let me attempt to predict the future. Do you remember the Wolf's premonition outside the wreckers yard towards Vincent and Jools?

You and your two AFC Chat sidekicks are going to fuck off. I won't put a timescale on it because we know that "internet stubbornness" is a thing.

When people don't fit, when they have zero to contribute, when they start to annoy people with their sickness, they know themselves they find themselves out of their comfort zone.

Speaking of wives, your attempt at stand up comedy was priceless. Notice how none of us came back at you to tell you how utterly tragic and pathetic it was? That's the difference between the children you've grown up with on the hat and the real world. We just let you do it. We didn't even laff AT you. It was pathos in extremis.

Your resilience is admirable however. I thought you morons would've fucked off by now. Maybe there is hope for you yet?

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6 hours ago, rocket_scientist said:

Hrmph ? 

I reckon it's one of the toughest mental examinations there is. Used to be addicted to playing it - 50 medal rounds during the year my youngest was born, not including bounce games, match play events and team matches - but more happy watching it getting done properly these days and like all habits, we fall in and out of them. Haven't played since Panmure in December and turned down an invitation this week to play Troon next week with one of my pro clients I invented in my multiple personality imagination. Missing being out there though. Carnoustie was so good last week for a couple of days but this year will be the first time for over a decade I haven't been to the best course on the planet, the Lytham Trophy having been cancelled.

On girly matters, what do you think of Yoga? The new mat that my wife ordered came today and I tried it for the first time during lockdown when daughter 2 was home and showed me. It's fucking tougher than it looks. I refrained from doing a down dog as my postie asked for. He's ST at Pittodrie and is always giving me pelters about Cove. 

Could you please advise how you managed to play 50 medal rounds in a year? 

Every golf club I know has Monthly medal competitions during the summer months, club specific trophies normally for a much loved and missed ex member, texas scrambles, club championship completions for singles, doubles and mixed tournaments 

At the very most there's unlikely to be more than 8 'medal' completions per club per season. 

Therefore... Were you a member at approximately 7 golf clubs? 

Or do you talk nonsensical poop in a futile attempt to impress? 

 

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1 minute ago, hercule poirot said:

Could you please advise how you managed to play 50 medal rounds in a year? 

Every golf club I know has Monthly medal competitions during the summer months, club specific trophies normally for a much loved and missed ex member, texas scrambles, club championship completions for singles, doubles and mixed tournaments 

At the very most there's unlikely to be more than 8 'medal' completions per club per season. 

Therefore... Were you a member at approximately 7 golf clubs? 

Or do you talk nonsensical poop in a futile attempt to impress? 

 

I am a member of the St Andrews GC. Have been for 20+ years. In the year my daughter was born, I was playing all the time. Given that we had competitions every Saturday and every Thursday, plus the occasional Sunday and medals right through from 1st Jan to the Medal finals in late October, not to mention the Opens and other counting events we played at county and national level, 50 is not excessive. Some of my mates were north of 80 and 90. Some of my imaginary pro clients are north of 100 and I think Graeme Storm's 122 might still be the record. It was the most a few years ago when I last looked.

Now that I've made a cunt of you again, comedian boy and speaking of wives, do you have one? Or is your sadness on here indicative of a grave sadness in your personal life? Why else do you post like a cunt pretending to be something it's not? The clock is ticking. I already said you've had your fun and you will fuck off. 

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Sorry, every second Thursday at SAGC. But we were members of the Thistle Club, St Andrews too which played once every two weeks on the alternative Thursday so it was literally a minimum of twice a week against our handicaps.

Get fucked you fucking arsehole. Speaking of wives, did you like your mate's reference to mine? In his first post to me on here? Is that your level?

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7 hours ago, rocket_scientist said:

Another prediction.

These three mutants will be gone soon. I'd never heard of any of them before but if they got kicked oot the hat and within two weeks of posting here they've made their positions untenable, they'll not be a loss.

If these expert psychologists could find it within themselves to apologise for their grotesqueness and start again, I'm sure they would be welcome. By weak cunts who can forgive and forget, which will never include me. 

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16 hours ago, rocket_scientist said:

Another prediction. Hagestad and Gupta (ranked 500 in the world) will meet in the semi of the US Am and the winner of that will win the final tomorrow. 

Hagestad got beat at the last and looking at the scoring, in what wasn't a high-quality game. His opponent was 51st in the WAGR. Gupta however, who was down in the back 9 won 3 in 4 to win on the 18th. Brave kid. His opponent  was ranked 43rd, 457 places higher. We could be seeing the emergence of a great young talent. Chuffed for him. Forgot they didn't do the quarters and the semi on the same day in the US Am so all getting decided this weekend. Ramsay and Fitzpatrick were the only Scottish and English winners for a century. None of our guys made the last 16.

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9 hours ago, rocket_scientist said:

Coincidentally my book mark is last years fixture list: -

image.thumb.jpeg.e0000c0f8dd755d815c2ed4869bf3f7a.jpeg

And it's the same fixtures EVERY year.

Will you now concede you're an ignorant bastard?

My point proven. Thank you. 

From January to June there are 14 medals mentioned on your itinerary. The remainder being a mixture of assorted competitions. 

So, if we duplicate the first half of the year to include July to December, we can assume a maximum of thirty (30) medal competitions per year. 

That's assuming the weather will be favourable every single time. Unlikely. 

 

 

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You don't understand. You're polluting a thread in which you have no interest. You're trying to save face, taking one word from a post during a conversation you weren't involved in to attempt to dispute a fact and being insulting whilst doing it. Even after you were slapped down, you come back for more. This is not a good use of time. This is behaviour revealing much about you and it's not anything other than tragic to witness.

Speaking of wives, got any more jokes for us?

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In the Brooks-less Wyndham, another excellent packed leaderboard this weekend. Sad to see Koepka apologising for his arrogance last week. There's a fine line beyond supreme self-confidence and after McIlroy called him out, he didn't have an option.

Apologising is normally not sad of course but the hollowness of his words and his soul were laid bare. The golfing gods may strip him of any further chances now. He's not a good enough putter anyway. 

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