Oz and James Drink to Britain - must be great to get paid going on a booze up round the British Isles.  Very entertaining though.

 

 

Total Wipeout - has anyone seen this?  I'd love a crack at it!

From thedailymash:

 

 

GOVERNMENT'S 'BANNED LIST' MAKES EVERYTHING ALL BETTER

 

THE government's decision to ban some foreign people with unpleasant views has made everyone incredibly nice, it was confirmed today.Within minutes of the Home Office announcement, racists, violent extremists and homophobes agreed to put down their placards and stop being so ruddy unpleasant all the time.

 

The Reverend Fred Phelps, the US psychopath who thinks all soldiers are gay witches, said: "The British government makes an excellent point. I will stop thinking these thoughts immediately."

 

He added: "Would you like to touch me on the bottom?"

 

And militant Islamic fruitcake, Safwat Hijazi, said: "Did I really say the infidels should be beheaded and that we should paint our mosques with their blood? That doesn't sound like me - I must have been drunk.

 

"Anyway, who's up for a double bill of Jesus Christ Superstar and Fiddler on the Roof?"

 

The government acted after a handful of British tourists were infected with horrid, nasty thoughts on the plane home from Acapulco.

 

Julian Cook, from Bristol, said: "About half way through the flight I turned to my wife and said, 'I don't want to go back to Britain, it's full of black people and homosexuals'. And she said felt exactly the same way."

 

The government has today sent a leaflet to every home in the country advising what to do if you find yourself being a bigot, including wiping down hard surfaces with Dettol and spending a long weekend in the Lake District with an Asian lesbian.

 

Meanwhile people across Britain are demanding that any 'banned list' must include the pathetic couple from the BT adverts.

 

Tom Logan, from Hatfield, said: "I thought we'd got rid of them, but they're back and if we do not do something now it will be fucking weddings and fucking babies and it will go on and on and on."

Really enjoyed the first couple of series, in my opinion series four is my least favourite so far, but expect it to pick up again

 

Spot on.

 

I reckon you'd like The Wire.

Spot on.

 

I reckon you'd like The Wire.

 

I'm on the fourth season. The third was absolutely awesome! 

I'm on the fourth season. The third was absolutely awesome! 

 

Which ones on BBC2 just now? Not really liking the one on just now but the one before was excellent.

Which ones on BBC2 just now? Not really liking the one on just now but the one before was excellent.

 

Season 2, its a bit slow that series, but gathers pace quite nicely. 

Season 2, its a bit slow that series, but gathers pace quite nicely. 

 

I thought 2 was far quicker and far better than series one.

I thought 2 was far quicker and far better than series one.

 

It was, but I thought it took couple of episodes to get going. I've loved every series so far. Apparently series 3 was the best. I certainly agree, though obviously I hope the next couple will still be good.

It was, but I thought it took couple of episodes to get going. I've loved every series so far. Apparently series 3 was the best. I certainly agree, though obviously I hope the next couple will still be good.

 

I've only got a couple of 2 to watch then i'll be on 3.  But, I have to squash any claims that The Wire is better than the Sopranos.  It isn't.  The only thing that you could say links the two is that they both have start and end credits....

I've just seen the latest one. They are having a baby now.

 

I wonder who the dad is? 

 

Is that the one where you don't hear what they are phoning their friends and family about but can tell it's good news? I just saw that one now.

Is that the one where you don't hear what they are phoning their friends and family about but can tell it's good news? I just saw that one now.

 

Yeah, I seen that the other day and wondered. They must be getting back together before having a kid?

 

And, anyway, wouldn't this be the guys first kid? I'm sure the other kids are only step-kids to him?

 

 

And, anyway, wouldn't this be the guys first kid? I'm sure the other kids are only step-kids to him?

 

 

You're right, the fucking paedo.

 

Trawlermen here there and everywhere! 

Is that the one where you don't hear what they are phoning their friends and family about but can tell it's good news? I just saw that one now.

 

Yep, thats the one. I'm glad someone else has seen it as I was beginning to think that I had just imagined/dreamt it! 

Yep, thats the one. I'm glad someone else has seen it as I was beginning to think that I had just imagined/dreamt it! 

 

I must have missed the bit where it indicated they were having a baby then.

Ah, ok I just got the impression that was what the news was about. I hadn't realised they had previously split.

 

Still, its coming. What with her background and all...

I thought maybe they were engaged?

I thought maybe they were engaged?

 

LOL!

I thought maybe they were engaged?

 

Could be. I must have got the wrong message from the advert. No doubt we'll get the answer in the next one if she has a ring on her finger.

Or if she's getting pumped up the arse at a black mass.

Rolf Harris hosting Have I Got News For You was great! 

Rolf Harris hosting Have I Got News For You was great! 

 

That little sing song at the end was class!

I hate Rolf Harris.

 

I've started watching the new series 'Lie to Me' on Sky 1 with Tim Roth, so far so good. 

 

Oh, and Lost season finale last night. What a crock of shit! I've invested too much time in it to give up now though... 

New series is shite, you're missing nothing.

 

Have been watching series 6 of Shameless on youtube, thought it was pretty good. Just finished watching episode 15 where Debbie (or a body double) finally gets her tits out, delighted. Liked the parallel with Fiona from series one as well.

I'll be watching this:

 

Tourettes - John Is Not Mad, New Episode

next thursday at 9 on bbc 1

 

 

in the clip he punched a woman in the face while in the supermarket

"Pulling" special on BBC3 just now.

 

Sharon Horgan is mega.

 

Thanks.