1. The Herring Gull (Larus argentatus) flocks over pittodrie can reach numbers in excess of 50 gulls at any one time.

2. Don't spend too long eating yer pie or said Herring Gulls will sense dinner and head in for the kill.

3. It's a long way from the top of section Y to the bottom when you're tumbling head over heels.

4. Football is not worth the £21 ticket.

5. If you stand at the top of section Y your shadow is cast onto the pitch

6. There is no middle ground between the JMG and the JIG brigades. 

8.  sometimes apathy is just too difficult to attain.

9. You get a better class of lunatic in Section Y than you do in the top deck of the RDS.

 

10. Games in which Aberdeen are at home to teams from lower in the league whom we're expected to beat are invariably dreadful, disappointing affairs which end in draws.

 

11. NEVER, EVER include Aberdeen on a fixed-odds coupon (see #10).

12. Some Aberdeen fans really are only here to see The Rangers. 

14. We're Red.

15. They're Dead

16. We're bouncing on their heads.

17. Pittodrie is one of the coldest places on Earth.

18. Richie Byrne is not a footballer

2nd only to arbroath in the snow or inverness on a sunday night for 6.05 ko 

 

17. Pittodrie is one of the coldest places on Earth.

 

 

18. The boilers in teh ground are the best sweets in the world 

 

19. Not booing a player is our way of telling him we like him.  Actually singing his praises would be frowned upon. 

20. We'll chant the good name of AFC, wax lyrical about our club, travel great distances to watch them play spending thousands of pounds to do so, but wearing their colours on a match day is out of the question.

20. Losing 6-0 to Livingston is neither entertaining nor exciting.

 

21. Ebbe Skovdahl is a fanny.

 

 

21.5. Taking your clothes off, including just removing a t-shirt, in a public bar will never, ever be cool

20. Losing 6-0 to Livingston is neither entertaining nor exciting.

 

2. Ebbe Skovdahl is a fanny.

 

 

 

It was 6-1  

 

22. Every ref in scotland hates us

23. AFC highlights are only ever 3 seconds in length and will only ever be played after the witching hour after a whole hours worth of wanking over "great" and "exciting" teams who are below us in the league.

24. To people standing at the top of Section Y - the Pittodrie pitch is the most unique in that there is no corner at the junction of the Merkland and Main Stands.

 

25. If Aberdeen have to raise their game, they will win

 

26. If Aberdeen are favourites, they will lose

27. After every win AFC are always said "to be turning the corner" - the same corner we've been turning for years.

28. Anybody who is ex- Dundee United,Dunfermline or Dutch Sunday League would be worth signing

 

27. After every win AFC are always said "to be turning the corner" - after turning the corner 4 times we're actually back to where we started.

 

29. It is unreasonable to expect the club to sign a genuine, dedicated and decent left-back.

 

30. I am now 30 years old and have given up all hope of the Dons winning at Ibrox again in my lifetime.

 

31. There is more than one way to skin a Ricky Foster.

 

32. Funny, inventive and original chants about AFC players are to be treated with a mixture of suspicion and fear. All chants about players must consist only of a monotonous drone in which the player's name is incanted ad nauseam as if trying to put a curse on said player instead of sing his praises.

 

33. If someone attempts to start a funny, inventive and original chant about a player he must be drowned out with the usual quasi-Satanic drivel.

 

34. AFC do not win games comfortably. Even in matches where we have played the other team off the park and are winning 3-0 with 20 minutes to go, it is obligatory that there will be a fluke goal for the opposition leading to panicky defending, 14 men behind the ball and heart failure for those of us watching from the stands.

 

35. There will be no steak pies left by the time you reach the front of the queue, so don't even ask [has anyone actually successfully procured one of these mythical items? Do they in fact exist? If so, do you have to reserve them prior to kick-off, or perhaps several days in advance? Please enlighten me].

 

36. the Broadhill is a classy drinking establishment

The pain that women experience during childbirth is nothing compared to pain AFC have inflicted on their fans in the past 20 years.  Therefore number 37 is that I can only conclude that the modern Aberdeen fan is a  masochist.

 

38.  Stuart milne is bald but used to wear a silly wig

27. After every win AFC are always said "to be turning the corner" - the same corner we've been turning for years.

 

39. After 10 years, someone has worked out we are stuck on a roundabout.

40. The lesser known Stoneysappian or Negativstonius can not be found within the ground.

Saturdays the day to get behind the team 

 

i only moan on the internet - i thought that was what it was for, well that and porn 

Especially porn