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Wednesday 19th June 2024

Euro 2024 -  🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Scotland v 🇨🇭Switzerland

kick-off 8pm

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42 When Aberdeen travel to visit top European sides, it is easy to accept humiliating defeat, as our inexperienced players are "on a learning curve".

 

43 Said "learning curve" (in reality a long-radius arc) is in fact the same corner that Aberdeen have been turning since 1995, as alluded to in point 27.

 

44 Stewart Milne is bald because he, as the one common denominator of the "turning the corner"/"learning curve" era, has developed a pig-headed lop-sidedness that meant that one side of his cranium had an imbalance of folic acid, leading to an embarrassing condition where he in fact only had half a head of hair which he only reveals in the flesh when he attends the freak-show night at his local Bieldside hostelry.

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45. Its a little known fact that Aberdeens manger is friends with Martin Jol

 

46. Aberdeen fans don't deserve their manager and his free flowing attacking football

 

47. Aberdeen fans pick on players like Duff,Mackie and Foster purely because they are local lads.

 

 

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50. Were shite and we know we are

 

:lolabove:. That song reminds me of the drunken aftermath of that game in April  :thumbsup:

 

 

 

29. It is unreasonable to expect the club to sign a genuine, dedicated and decent left-back.  ( agree,  :hammer: )

 

30. I am now 30 years old and have given up all hope of the Dons winning at Ibrox again in my lifetime.

 

51. I am now 40 years old and have NOT given up all hope of the Dons winning at Ibrox again in my lifetime    :thumbsup::AFC2:

 

 

 

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55.  Paul Sheerin could volley the ball into the back of the net from any part of the park, past any number of players, dispite the ball only moving at 2.7 miles per hour.

 

56.  The Merkland Stand roof had to be replaced due to safety reasons in 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009.

 

57.  The easiest way to get fans or figureheads to stop asking probing questions is to give them a seat on the board.

 

58.  The best time to seek alternative bus routes to the ground is to drive slowly through the harbour vicinity at 2am on a Saturday night.

 

59.  Angus The Bull is the fastest mascot on two wheels.

 

60.  Pensioners who want a slapping, ship's flares, snowballs and hares are more likely to make it trackside than Richie Byrne.

 

61.  Notebooks, scrunched up bits of paper and scarfs are more dangerous than Anthrax.

 

62.  The GUASC and The Globe Reds only go to games so they can touch each other when the Dons score under the guise of 'celebrating'.

 

63.  It definitely looked like Ian Durrant to me and sadly he did play for Rangers some more, although you'd think Simmy had butchered him and his whole family then ate their remains.

 

64.  Scott Severin can throw the ball so far that he can't see where it's going to land or who he's throwing it to.

 

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1. The Herring Gull (Larus argentatus) flocks over pittodrie can reach numbers in excess of 50 gulls at any one time.

2. Don't spend too long eating yer pie or said Herring Gulls will sense dinner and head in for the kill.

3. It's a long way from the top of section Y to the bottom when you're tumbling head over heels.

4. Football is not worth the £21 ticket.

5. If you stand at the top of section Y your shadow is cast onto the pitch

6. There is no middle ground between the JMG and the JIG brigades.

7. When Mizer stands at the top of section Y - darkness falls on Bridge of Don

8.  sometimes apathy is just too difficult to attain.

9. You get a better class of lunatic in Section Y than you do in the top deck of the RDS.

10. Games in which Aberdeen are at home to teams from lower in the league whom we're expected to beat are invariably dreadful, disappointing affairs which end in draws.

11. NEVER, EVER include Aberdeen on a fixed-odds coupon (see #10).

12. Some Aberdeen fans really are only here to see The Rangers

14. We're Red.

15. They're Dead

16. We're bouncing on their heads.

17. Pittodrie is one of the coldest places on Earth.

18. Richie Byrne is not a footballer

18. The boilers in teh ground are the best sweets in the world

19. Not booing a player is our way of telling him we like him.  Actually singing his praises would be frowned upon.

20. We'll chant the good name of AFC, wax lyrical about our club, travel great distances to watch them play spending thousands of pounds to do so, but wearing their colours on a match day is out of the question.

20. Losing 6-0 to Livingston is neither entertaining nor exciting.

21. Ebbe Skovdahl is a fanny.

21.5. Taking your clothes off, including just removing a t-shirt, in a public bar will never, ever be cool

22. Every ref in scotland hates us

23. AFC highlights are only ever 3 seconds in length and will only ever be played after the witching hour after a whole hours worth of wanking over "great" and "exciting" teams who are below us in the league.

24. To people standing at the top of Section Y - the Pittodrie pitch is the most unique in that there is no corner at the junction of the Merkland and Main Stands.

25. If Aberdeen have to raise their game, they will win

26. If Aberdeen are favourites, they will lose

27. After every win AFC are always said "to be turning the corner" - the same corner we've been turning for years.

28. Anybody who is ex- Dundee United,Dunfermline or Dutch Sunday League would be worth signing

29. It is unreasonable to expect the club to sign a genuine, dedicated and decent left-back.

30. I am now 30 years old and have given up all hope of the Dons winning at Ibrox again in my lifetime.

31. There is more than one way to skin a Ricky Foster.

32. Funny, inventive and original chants about AFC players are to be treated with a mixture of suspicion and fear. All chants about players must consist only of a monotonous drone in which the player's name is incanted ad nauseam as if trying to put a curse on said player instead of sing his praises.

33. If someone attempts to start a funny, inventive and original chant about a player he must be drowned out with the usual quasi-Satanic drivel.

34. AFC do not win games comfortably. Even in matches where we have played the other team off the park and are winning 3-0 with 20 minutes to go, it is obligatory that there will be a fluke goal for the opposition leading to panicky defending, 14 men behind the ball and heart failure for those of us watching from the stands.

35. There will be no steak pies left by the time you reach the front of the queue, so don't even ask [has anyone actually successfully procured one of these mythical items? Do they in fact exist? If so, do you have to reserve them prior to kick-off, or perhaps several days in advance? Please enlighten me].

36. the Broadhill is a classy drinking establishment

37. The pain that women experience during childbirth is nothing compared to pain AFC have inflicted on their fans in the past 20 years.  Therefore number 37 is that I can only conclude that the modern Aberdeen fan is a  masochist.

38.  Stuart milne is bald but used to wear a silly wig

39. After 10 years, someone has worked out we are stuck on a roundabout.

40. The lesser known Stoneysappian or Negativstonius can not be found within the ground.

41. Steve Lovell would be better than Ruud van Nistelrooy if he was given a run of 600 games to find his feet.

42 When Aberdeen travel to visit top European sides, it is easy to accept humiliating defeat, as our inexperienced players are "on a learning curve".

43 Said "learning curve" (in reality a long-radius arc) is in fact the same corner that Aberdeen have been turning since 1995, as alluded to in point 27.

44 Stewart Milne is bald because he, as the one common denominator of the "turning the corner"/"learning curve" era, has developed a pig-headed lop-sidedness that meant that one side of his cranium had an imbalance of folic acid, leading to an embarrassing condition where he in fact only had half a head of hair which he only reveals in the flesh when he attends the freak-show night at his local Bieldside hostelry.

45. Its a little known fact that Aberdeens manger is friends with Martin Jol

46. Aberdeen fans don't deserve their manager and his free flowing attacking football

47. Aberdeen fans pick on players like Duff,Mackie and Foster purely because they are local lads.

48. The biggest debate revolving around Aberdeen FC away games in europe is whether it is okay to wear a kilt.  There is of course only one answer - is it fuck ya parochial stereotype see-you-jimmy hat fannies

49. Statistics prove Stavrum is a better striker than Larson - reality proves otherwise

50. Were shite and we know we are

51. I am now 40 years old and have NOT given up all hope of the Dons winning at Ibrox again in my lifetime

52, Watching Aberdeen win is one of the best feelings ever.

53. We are only sheep shagging bastards.

54. 10 men went to mow a meadow.

55.  Paul Sheerin could volley the ball into the back of the net from any part of the park, past any number of players, dispite the ball only moving at 2.7 miles per hour.

56.  The Merkland Stand roof had to be replaced due to safety reasons in 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009.

57.  The easiest way to get fans or figureheads to stop asking probing questions is to give them a seat on the board.

58.  The best time to seek alternative bus routes to the ground is to drive slowly through the harbour vicinity at 2am on a Saturday night.

59.  Angus The Bull is the fastest mascot on two wheels.

60.  Pensioners who want a slapping, ship's flares, snowballs and hares are more likely to make it trackside than Richie Byrne.

61.  Notebooks, scrunched up bits of paper and scarfs are more dangerous than Anthrax.

62.  The GUASC and The Globe Reds only go to games so they can touch each other when the Dons score under the guise of 'celebrating'.

63.  It definitely looked like Ian Durrant to me and sadly he did play for Rangers some more, although you'd think Simmy had butchered him and his whole family then ate their remains.

64.  Scott Severin can throw the ball so far that he can't see where it's going to land or who he's throwing it to.

65. Older People, no matter how many times they've seen it, still look round in utter disgust when the red ultras start banging there drum.

66. Its not just older people, i think of better things to listen too on a sunday when im hungover

 

67. Never ever turn up to watch Aberdeen sober, otherwise you will realise how bad it is and will head off early for a drink.

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73. Snowballs made from the Pittodrie snow contain nails

74. A bit of a red plastic chair in your hand is easily mistaken for a razor blade or steak knife when your photo gets taken by the weejia

75. If you leave the Pittodrie Bar at 2.58pm on a Saturday afternoon, you can start the fifteen minute walk to your place on The Y, and still be there for kickoff

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Guest Robo

74. A bit of a red plastic chair in your hand is easily mistaken for a razor blade or steak knife when your photo gets taken by the weejia

 

It was a snickers bar.

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