kelt

Where the fuck is the link to the match streams?

I was working on a little Aberdeen Fan Fiction over the Christmas holidays, but didn't get the graphics finished although the story is completed. I was also working on the trailer, which also never got finished before I had to start earning a living again, though I'm hoping I'll soon have a little extra time to finish it.. however my Donstalk 09 Season is hogging much of my free posting minutes. Anyway, here's the unfinished trailer previewing How The Milnch Fucked Aberdeen. Enjoy what there is of it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0kl50puuYA

Double post. Double Dose of my Pimpin'. Edited before someone faints from the excitement.

I might consider posting a wee preview at some point, then again I might no If you're really lucky/unfortunate you might find a piece of fan fiction online that I did a few years ago... a one page Strontium Dog script, inked by 2000ad artist P.J. Holden. I posted the script for a laugh, and he inked and published it. It's called 'The Day The Dog Died'... but aside from a few references online it seems to have gone the way of all my great works If I have a copy on my HD I'll mebbes post it.

Is some team in Stoney looking for new players?

Just finished Ice Hunt, a 'thriller' about Russians, heroic Americans, human experimentation and savage, walking whales. It was terribad. Also just wrapped up Ringworld, a sci-fi tale about two humans, a talking tiger and an alien that behaves like a tortoise. It was terribad. Right now I'm writing a little fan fiction, and I assure you it's going to be awesome. I have around 30 Discworld books, both audio and text.. and they get progressively worse as the series goes on. Anything after the first ten just isn't funny, interesting or creative. He needs to stop writing Discworld books now, he really does.

How do you know it wasnae just resting? A night on the raz, he thinks he kens a shortcut hame, and in a fit of misguided drunkenness climbs the fence and passes oot before he hits the grun.

Maybe JC wasnae referring to his worth as a striker being 600k... maybe he meant if the club were to sell bits of the laddie on the illegal human organ black market. Maybe one day soon Darren will wake up in a bath of ice in a basement in Tijuana. Could happen.

To be perfectly fair, I've never acted either... but I can tell you Keanu Reeves is an absolutely fucking diabolical actor just by watching him ply his trade. Any time I've seen The Dazzler ply his trade I've been reminded of Keanu Reeves... in Johnny Mnemonic.

Lee Mair, Derek Young and Darren Mackie all signing new deals. Cause for a celebration, me thinks. And by 'celebration' I mean 'accept the brutal pummeling of any dreams I might have had of glory this season, next season, or any other season that involves Dazzlin' as one of our main strikers and Young as our midfield dynamo'. I understand they're cheap as a Regent Quay Hoor, but they also play fitba like they're Regent Quay Hoors inna. Why not just get rid of the Dazzler and the Asian, and bring in a couple of kids who will be just as cheap, probably just as ineffective, but at least said kids will have some kind of potential? Or why not bring in a couple of Regent Quay Hoors? I fucking despair when I see 1st division shite like that two getting games because "They try really hard". Actually, I tell a lie, Young isnae even 1st division shite... he was released by Thistle.

A 3 year contract for one of the least gifted strikers we've had at Pittodrie in my lifetime.... ... I've got a razor blade kicking around my bathroom cabinet, I think it might be time to consider putting it to good use. / wrists.

I just wonder what sort of player he'll be if/when he ever returns. From what I've seen of him he's a solid player who is a cut above the kind of pish that has become synonymous with Aberdeen players over the last few years. If we could count on him to remain free of injury then I'd be all for offering him a new contract. His track record is one of constant injury though, and for a club as skint as we are can we afford to carry anyone, let alone a higher earner who's place on the treatment table could well be keeping two new faces out of the squad? I like Jamie Smith as a player, but I'd cut him loose and look for a replacement who benefits us on the pitch.

DIE! You'll have to excuse me for not saying that to your face inna :-)

I don't think Robo knows what you're talking about :-) Should I have told you that to your face?

According to the Thistle fans he's a good player with a lot of potential (though at 23/24 how much more time do you need to develop that potential). But he's cheap, still breathing and wages probably wouldn't be out of our price range. That makes him a potential candidate. If he turns out to be any good then that's a bonus but not a necessity.

It's a well known fact that I live in Dalry. Anyone who wants some of Kelt can arrange to meet me at the church any fucking time they feel tasty. Bring mates and a hemmer.

Right now I reckon we are capable of beating any team in the SPL. Rangers and Celtic aren't scary, they aren't big or clever, they sign shite like Broadfoot and Boyd. If we go at them we can beat them, and if we lose while having a go at them then so be it. To fuck with this sitting in shite. They're there for the taking.

Sure thing, Amigo. Apologies for not thinking of that myself. I too love the cheeky wee fuckers.

Robo, you should know a couple of things when dealing with me. 1. I post for my own amusement, not anyone else's. If you used to find me funny and now you don't, rest assured I'm still amusing myself with my posts and that's all that matters. Your entertainment isn't my goal 2. Please don't try to E-Intimidate me, it makes you look rather foolish 3. Being 4000 miles away it's rather difficult for me to tell the awfully frightening casuals anything, but perhaps I could send them a letter if it'll make you feel any better about life in general.

Not necessarily. We lost a bunch of players at the end of last season and we've more or less replaced them all. We did have the slow start to this season, as we've mentioned, but we're pretty much at the same level as we were last time around. If we lose them we can replace them, assuming a little work from the club instead of their usual dicking around until the last minute. That's what fucked our club in the past.. the 'plenty of time' attitude in close season from AFC meant we got the dregs of what was available on a Bosman. Last season it looks like the club actually put some thought into the upcoming close season and were able to get replacements in for the players leaving. No reason we can't do that again.

Well, it's all relative, I guess. In the little bubble that is the SPL we're now a top 6 side with ambitions of periodic European football and the odd semi-final. That puts us in the 'Slightly better than mediocre' category, but it still doesn't make players irreplaceable. The only player we've suffered from losing in recent years is Anderson. First on the team-sheet... okay, second after Dazzlin' Darren.... his departure revealed the defensive frailties of the rest of the players... though Diamond is rapidly filling Andos boots. But guys like Lovell, Nicholson, McGuire, Byrne, Dempsey, Mike, Bird, Prunty, Sheerin, D'Jaffo, McAllister, Hinds, Rutkeiwicz, Crawford, Tosh etc.. didn't leave holes so big they weren't pretty much immediately filled. And the current squad, we could lose Smith (never plays anyway), Young, JDV, Mackie and to a certain extent Severin and Mair and not have to worry too much about bringing in similar quality. I take your point about gelling, and that would be my only real concern.. that it would take a while for their replacements to form an understanding meaning we get off to another slow start. But individually we could also lose guys like Bossu (please), foster and Maguire and be very confident that we'd pick up players of equal ability. But I see we want to offer Mackie a new contract. That's just magic.

That's fine, they can all go. The awesome mediocrity of our club means that we can pretty much replace any of our players, coaches, board members or management with the absolute minimum of trouble. Mediocrity does have its pluses.

"I tried to murder the wrong man", says WJ. I'm sure it's happened to all of us.... Guy lying prone on the deck, and you reckon it's someone you don't like, so you try to murder him. Then, and we can laugh about this later, you realise it's a case of mistaken identity and you've just attempted to murder the WRONG guy! Haaaahaaaa.. och, was I nae affronted wi myself for THAT mix up?

Casuals wear ugly, navy wind-cheaters now? The old casuals should fight the new casuals. A fight using their lack of individuality as their only weapons. "Look, I'm wearing the same stuff that you are". "That's awesome".

Nice, professional job. Seems to be taking place in a canteen where everyone's just talking away behind the camera. Well done to Mackie for keeping his composure and not blasting the interviewer over the (salad) bar. He remains focused and tucks his answers away with cool finesse. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-A9L3gK7jE