kelt

Three good belts to her chops and she barely flinches... I reckon she could have kicked that guy's fanny in if she'd bothered to retaliate.

Everything's in place for a sterling season come August, so keep your chin up We'll have Milne in charge, driving the club forward with his legendary decision-making and ambition unabated. We'll have Willie Miller sort of hanging around doing... whatever it is he's doing for his couple hundred grand. We'll have Craigie Broon, good old Craigie Broon, whipping the players into a frenzy of competitiveness not seen since Bannockburn. We'll have maybe one 'Stellar Signing' in the mold of Chris Clark to look forward to. A midfield that has a massive amount of experience and even more arthritis. Crowds about the size you might see standing around watching a drunken fight on Union Street of a Setterday night. The local media will be rife with news of the imminent building of the Superstadium in the Loirston tattie field. The superstadium that the club scheduled to start around October 2011. With its 60,000 capacity, retractable roof, bars, restaurants, bouncy castles and rocket launch site all within the grounds of the land we apparently haven't even bought yet This Red Revolution isnae half bad, eh?

The guy in the middle is the spitting image of the Jew who presented Words and Pictures... Henry Woolf. The fucking spitting image. He's the guy intro-ing this... I'd quite like to hear these lads' manifesto... in their own words.

I have it... it's somewhere between useless and pointless.

Is the answer Two Romanian Immigrant Sponging off British Welfare?

I read about this in Psychological Science... seems a pretty reasonable assessment from my experience. It appears the further right you get, well, the wiring just seems to get completely fucked up. There also needs to be a study on the mental health of right wingers. I think that would open a few eyes, because most of the crazies.. I mean REAL fucking batshit mental crazies... seem to be right wingers. Racism, homophobia, stupidity, lunacy... while not the sole domain of the right, certainly appears to be a market largely cornered by the right.

You stand at the top of the Broad Hill on a windy day and tell me you're not nervous about walking into Pittodrie without a hard hat. And if I were Stewart Milne you would know full well there's not a hope in fucking Hell of getting 5 poond oot meh. You have to learn to stand on your own two feet, you see. Giving you money is just going to "mak the sit-chee-ashin wirse, now."

16 years without a trophy of any kind. Repeated flirting with relegation. A Stadium that could fall down at any moment. A spiraling debt. Wages reduced season after season. significantly reduced quality in playing staff. A paper thin squad that doesn't even have players to fill every position naturally. 360 minutes of league football without a goal. The prospect of bottom six football for the third year in a row. ...after almost two decades of this, can I ask... "When can we panic?" Brown's a sweet auld lad, really he is, but i'm nae sure he's still playing with the full deck.

We made a fair bit of cash off the Hignett charade.... as for wages, the club can only blame itself for paying top dollar for substandard shit. Hignett was a cunt though.

Terrible, terrible, terrible footballer. The argument that he 'scores some important goals' is weak, given he's been at the club for a decade. You would expect ANYONE in a forward position for ten years to score some important goals... in fact a better striker would have score a larger number of important goals. So another way of looking at it is that Mackie, over a decade, hasn't scored nearly enough important goals. In fact, he hasn't scored nearly enough goals. What's he averaging out at, something like 6.5 goals a season? That he has played his entire career in the top flight of Scottish football is a sad indictment of Scottish football, but in particular of where Aberdeen has been as a club for far too long.

A wee vid I made, speculating on what went on at the LSC regarding Zander's move there. It could have happened.

I wonder if he'll 'snort some cocaine up his nose'.

Actually that would be pretty damn funny, and typically Aberdeen. "Hey, Sone.. we've a surprise for you." "Aye, what's that?" "A Nigerian lad.. we signed him to keep you company! Say something in Nigerian to him then" "I'm English.... I was born in London, I speak with a cockney accent and eat jellied eels" "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! We were gan tae put you lads in a cage together and see if anything magical happened."

Actually, looking at the Aberdeen squad, there's a startling lack of leadership. Fuck it, Buchan was only 12 when he was handed the Aberdeen captaincy, why not give it to Fyvie... with the warning that if he fucks up he'll get a kicking from.. shit, we've no players capable of giving anyone a good kicking either... Maybe Hartley can come back once a week to just growl at the players. That'd be worth a wage in itself.

Gavin Rae is exactly the kind of over-the-hill old dude looking to pick up a pay cheque in the twilight of his career sort of a signing that Aberdeen should be looking at. Maybe we can sign a fucking sloth from Edinburgh zoo inna, just to give the team the exact amount of pace and energy the SPL demands.

This is all interesting stuff, finding out that Gavin Rae and Christian Dailly are still playing fitba... having said that, I'm not sure we need to be signing people in their mid to late 30s. Totally uninspiring stuff from Broon.... and if these rumors have any bearing in reality then I think we're in for another bastard of a season. Not that I didn't think that already.

He's a reasonably good SPL striker... he'll end up on the bench at some Championship side for stupid money, then he'll come back to Hearts or Hibs or United when it's apparent he's nowhere near good enough for the Championship. If we can get 300k for him then we should bite the arm off of whoever offers it.

They walk out onto the field, give wanker signs to the fans, don't put in any effort, draw a wage and laugh at the fans who are paying that wage. Oooooohh... who do I want to be my favourite? I know, fuck them all.

Nae idea, but surely one of them was the marvelous Nigel Pepper.

1998: Clear out all the Pittodrie dead wood before you get the chop; ALEX MILLER HAS ONLY THREE PLAYERS WORTH KEEPING. 1999: Frustrated Skovdahl prepares to cut dead wood from Aberdeen 2004: Aberdeen set for clearout ...said Aberdeen manager Steve Paterson. "But, on a tight budget, we must clear out some of the current stock before moving in replacements." 2005: Calderwood pledges Dons clear-out : Manager Jimmy Calderwood has run out of patience with his Aberdeen side and is aiming for a major personnel overhaul. "I will definitely make significant changes, both in January and during the summer," Calderwood told the P&J. 2010: McGhee: Clear-out key to success 2011: Manager Craig Brown pledges change at Aberdeen Any questions?

This is the thing. They've been talking and talking and talking about a new stadium for years, and frankly they can have all the planning permission in the world to go ahead and build a stadium... but the long and short of it is that the club has precisely sweet fuck all in the way of the money needed to build even the most rudimentary of stadiums. So these pricks are talking about a new stadium in the full knowledge that they haven't a pot to piss in. It's just aggravating at this point. Here's a board that has only ever shown an aptitude for pissing money away, and now people are supposed to be so gullible that this very same board can accumulate enough to get a mortgage on a minimum 30,000,000 stadium? I'll say it again, when Aberdeen plays its first game at a new stadium I'll believe those lying cunts for the very first time.

No Refunds is brilliant. I mean, all Stanhope's stuff is brilliant.... but still.

Och, and why not.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAVyiJ1SINE&feature=related

Yeah, I mean I'm not saying he's not funny... though the most I managed at that modern man skit was a smile when he said "I have a love-child who sends me hate mail". Certainly intelligent and mildly amusing.... and I wouldn't at all avoid his routine if it were to come on telly or owt. But then, Stanhope is intelligent and hilarious... though I realise hilarious is subjective. My Mother liked Canon and Ball... and I do mean the comedy act. I'm not alluding to my dear old mum liking the cock. I'm sure she didn't, my dear old mum. Stanhope absolutely, 100% nails nationalism in his opening run on sentence here.

Doug Stanhope is probably my favourite comedian in the last 5 or 6 years. The man is a drunk, and the drunker he gets the funnier he gets. In fact I've got him about a thousand light years ahead of Carlin, who I personally think is way overrated anyway. Watched plenty Carlin stuff, and it's kind of amusing... but that's about it. Nothing Carlin ever said made me crack up in the way Stanhope can. Eddie Izzard used to be funny. Saw him a number of times, each time he gets noticeably less funny. Last time I saw him was in New York, when I had a run in with that Dame Edna cunt, and all Izzard spoke about was transvesticism, which was funny for the first ten minutes but by hour two was making me look at my watch to see when it would be over. Left about 20 minutes before he finished, such was his lack of any decent material. Oh, and David Cross is pretty funny inna. His album, Shut Up You Fucking Baby is well worth a listen.