Sweetchuck

What's your greatest hope for this season? Progress on the new stadium and training facilities. - And your biggest fear? Yet more mediocrity. If nothing else, at least a slump will result in action being taken. - Most important player Very tough to say. On his day, Lee Miller is certainly capable of providing that wee twist of magic, but for consistency and influence, it has to be Zander Diamond. - Cult hero/terrace favourite Cult here is different from terrace favourite: I doubt very much whether those who have said Ricky Foster so far would put him anywhere near their favourite player. Again, Zander Diamond. - Keep an eye out for (young player) Sammy Stewart (said more in hope than expectation). - Player you'd happily drive to his next club. Lee Mair, without doubt. Darren Mackie comes close, but let's face it: he's never going to leave Pittodrie. - What one change would you make at your club? The chairman to clear the debt. He doesn't need to pump millions into the transfer budget, but servicing the interest alone is crippling us financially and preventing us from showing any real ambition. - Have you got the right manager? Does it matter? He's not going anywhere, regardless of how much some sections of the support dislike him. He's neither good enough to be snapped up by anyone else or shit enough to get the boot. - What advice would you give him? Stop deflecting so much of the blame onto the players when things go wrong. All it does is create disharmony and the need to have a costly clearout of 'problematic' squad members when they finally lose all faith in you being able to motivate them as a team unit. Oh, and playing people in their correct positions may also be a good idea this year. - Which team do you most want to beat this season? Rangers at Ibrox. Absolutely no doubt whatsoever. - Opposition player you despise Aiden McGeady. Horrible, despicable wee bastard. - Opposition player you secretly admire Laryea Kingston. - Where will you finish? Top half of the table; probably fourth behind Dundee United.

JdV was clearly unfit and overweight the whole of last season. What makes JC think a one-month pre-season fitness blitz will make any difference? Surely if this magical fitness plan of his was any good, it would have got JdV sorted out during the course of last season. Pre-season fitness counts for nothing if you can't get/keep the players fit during the season proper.

From the above article:

Errr... Yes. Why would Tim Bakens feel any need whatsoever to lie about JC not calling him back?

I agree; this probably is the case. Leaving things in the hands of a part-time Director of Football whilst the manager swans off to Mercury to top up his tan isn't really best practice in terms of signing top targets, though. The closer you come to the start of the season, the less likely your targets are to be available. Any competitive advantage we can eke out when competing against other clubs is precious. By putting ourselves in the positions we have - whereby there isn't really anyone at the club for most of the week who is capable of handling transfer dealings - puts us at a massive disadvantage, and I don't think that's acceptable. Again, I can't disagree. But what's good for the goose is good for the gander. For JC to come out and moan about players messing him around when he's perfectly happy to do likewise to other players is just outright hypocrisy, and does nothing whatsoever to address the key issue. Every manager misses out on targets. It happens. But other managers don't come bleating to the press about how it's not their fault, it's the agents' fault, it's the fans' fault for being too expectant. Setting himself important targets like having a full squad assembled in time for pre-season is not compatible with wanting to high-tail it off to Majorca to scorch himself black in the weeks immediately prior to that date. Yet another case of JC wanting to have his cake and eat it, and then looking to blame everybody else when it goes tits up.

Maybe if you had got off your arses and set the wheels in motion well in advance, instead of doing your usual trick of waiting until the last minute and then lying to the fans about the number and quality of signings you promised, this wouldn't be such a fucking problem, you fat, snivelling wanker.

You missed out the "contact clueless son for assistance" stage. Aye. Serves you right for being so stupid. It's not like they guaranteed us ten new signings or anything.

In terms of your second point, sadly, you're absolutely right. If Maybury stays, the same will be true for him, although in his case, he is closer to being a new signing than Miller, despite not actually really being one. In terms of your first point, I agree with what you say. I don't doubt that Calderwood will spend whatever money is available to him. My problem is that he's likely to spunk it all on another McNamara or Dungfermline no-hoper. Maybe we should actually be thankful we're so fucking dozy in the transfer market sometimes. After all, if rumours are to be believed and we had our skates on earlier in the summer, we could well have been counting Darren Young as one of the illustrious new signings.

No no; you're wrong. It is Jimmy's aftershave. The smell tends to linger nastily. Anyway, it's not as if JC/WM would lie to us about new signings! Would they? "It's great to have Jamie Smith back; he'll be like a new signing. You can strike one off that list of ten, Willie." "Great, Jimmy. What about the youth players we're promoting? Can we count them as well?" "Aye Willie, that's grand. Four down, plus the three new signings. That's seven in total." "Mind we had them three Dutch lads in on trial, Jimmy." "Smashing. That's ten. Pub?" GET THE FUCKING FINGER OUT, AFC. We weren't strong enough to compete with Motherwell last year. Our team has only got weaker since then. DO YOU NEED A FUCKING PICTURE?

Calum Elliot? Fuck's sake. Are we seriously to believe that he is the best option available to us? Truly, words fail me. Perhaps not renewing my season ticket will get my point across more effectively.

Dead rat, Royal Mail Special Delivery. We seem to specialise in those, if you believe the West Coast shitrags.

I'm sure Jimmy and Willie are right on top of this, as per usual. If he was one of our targets, I have the utmost confidence that JC and WM are working overtime to agree a similar fee with Dundee. As such, I am 100% positive that Dixon will NOT sign for United within the next few days. :

Likewise. A fairly good half-season for Falkirk, and then doesn't even get selected during Rangers' most intensive and energy-sapping title run-in in years.

Plymouth will also figure somewhere in that equation.

This is going to be a close one. I reckon McNamara and Milne between them will get nigh on 100% of the vote.

Aluko against Bayern. Bounce after the first goal was great, but then after thinking we'd thrown away the game after conceding an equaliser, to go ahead a second time was just sensational. Second half of the game against the Huns was definitely the best extended bounce, if you like. 45 minutes of rubbing their dirty mutant noses in the fact that they'd pissed away the league, had one of their favourite players sent off and lost yet again at Pittodrie.

Hopefully your grammar wasn't this bad when you e-mailed her.

Had a listen. Doesn't really do it for me, but maybe that's why I'm not an A&R mannie. It's a bit of a dirge, but it's not really catchy/cheesy enough to get away with being so bland. Still, 10/10 for effort.

I see he was released by Celtic yesterday, and is looking to continue playing and coaching. Personally, I don't think he would be a bad signing at all. 34 years old, but a good head on his shoulders and would potentially be the perfect foil for young Mr Diamond. Thoughts?

Let's also not forget: - Nicky Walker (2 caps, Scotland) - Tony Warner (1 cap, Trinidad & Tobago) - Andy Dibble (3 caps, Wales)

Lafferty is indeed a Hun and has always said that it's his dream to play for the Filth. Story goes that Huns are offering £3m + Gow in order to get Lafferty. The Tims only offered £2.75m + Riordan. Considering Gow said that he didn't want to come to Aberdeen because it was too far away from home, moving to Burnley seems an odd choice. For a guy who only likes to play with one man up front, Walter Smith doesn't half have a hard-on for signing new strikers. - Darcheville - Cousin - Boyd - Gow - McCulloch - Lafferty - Velicka - Novo - Burke All of these can - or do - play up front. What the fuck is Wattie playing at?

Nice to see his Wikipedia page has already been sabotaged. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Koller

Today, I have been listening to: Tindersticks - II Dusty Springfield - Dusty in Memphis Tony Joe White - Black & White

Theo. No contest. Still a hero, despite going to Der Hun.

CLIKEY OH BRIMEY, GUV