Sweetchuck

This will surely give us an edge over the rest of the SPL: I'm sure no other manager will have dreamt up the idea of keeping the players fit over the summer.

Of course they can win. They can win by putting a decent amount of money in and treating us with the respect we deserve, not like idiots who'll happily swallow their spin. If we're going to pump in cash, great. I'd rather it wasn't shouted from the rooftops, but that's by the by. The simple fact is that we aren't pumping in cash. JC has been given a very modest amount of extra cash to use over three years on transfers and wages, not the £1m which Duncan Fraser sneakily implies is a transfer kitty for this summer. This is the problem: we don't want the club bragging to us how much cash they're pumping in when in reality they seem to be putting in remarkably little. We're not stupid, and they give us far less credit for intelligence than we deserve.

Nowhere does he actually give an indication of the timescale over which this £1m investment is spread. If reports earlier this year are to be believed, it's just over £1m over three years, which amounts to an extra £300k per year for transfer fees/wages. Not a huge amount in real terms. You're right - there is a significant black hole somewhere. If that cash isn't being reinvested in the squad, we should be told what's being done with it, although my guess is that it's going towards servicing our debt.

Do you think saying that "signing him would be a good option" is the same as endorsing his approach to finding a new club? It's not. In any case, you're still missing the point about Maybury. We all know what Maybury is up to; and it is exactly the same as O'Brien, like you say. However, O'Brien is at least being honest about it. Maybury keeps telling us how delighted he'd be to sign for Aberdeen, yet keeps stalling in terms of actually signing a fucking deal! Nobody is under any misapprehensions as to the way in which footballers decide between clubs these days: it's just a sad fact of life that they follow the most lucrative offers. But because we understand that, we don't expect them to dick us around by telling us how great our club is and how fantastic it would be to sign for us, when in reality there's been a contract sitting on the table for weeks with an empty dotted line at the bottom.

I'd be more interested in getting McNamee, to be honest. O'Brien would be a decent move, but McNamee always impressed me far more.

What the fuck is this all about? I know the Retard will stoop to almost any depth to have a go at us, but making up utter garbage like this is way below even their usual rock-bottom standards. Or do they know something I don't?

I think your legendary moobs have maybe taken their toll on your apparel.

Mine are fine; with the exception of the one with the ADT logo, which I don't really give a fuck about anyway. Even then, it's the logo and not the shirt which has failed to stand the test of time - the quality of the shirt itself hasn't been a problem. How often do you wear it, and what do you wear it for? Y'know; going to matches (I presume not), 5s, just out and about?

I think the Nike strips by and large have been great, particularly the home top from 2006-07 and the white away top (2006-08). They've certainly been a cut above the Le Coq Sportif and Puma efforts from the preceding years.

£1m more in the football budget... but over how long? Earlier this year, they were trumpteing the fact that JC would have £1.3m to spend. Reading the small print showed that this was over 3 years and was expected to be used for players' wages and not just transfer fees. That works out at an extra two players on £3k a week over those three years, assuming that they come in on free transfers with minimal signing-on fees. There is absolutely no way in the world that JC will be given £1m to spend this summer.

Says in today's EE that he's a possibility. Keen to move back north.

Lowest sponsorship amount ever? Most unimpressive sponsor ever? Highest 'who the fuck' rating ever?

I think our usual camera-hogger (Miller) is away on honeymoon. Presumably loads of the others are away on holiday too.

I have to say, it looks really cheap and naff, IMHO. I actually preferred the look of the Photoshop version from a few days ago. Away shirt should have black crest & logo, or a red flash & Nike Swoosh. Who the fuck are Team Recruitment? I shudder to think how little they've had to pay, if they're the biggest name on offer.

Is that so? Name me one other cub in the UK which blew not one but two semi-finals this year when they had a realistic chance of going all the way. You think Miller genuinely wanted to sign for us again? Not a chance. If there was a bigger, better offer on the table, he would have been gone in a flash. He's more canny than Maybury though: he's been through the same thing - move down south, get found out, move back north - and is clearly slightly more picky about who he signs for down south. He at least didn't fanny around with the fans though, making ridiculous statements about how he liked the club and wanted to stay, despite also stating that he, er, wanted to leave. Maybury would to well to follow suit. Nicholson is only two weeks older than Maybury, who has already played down south and flopped. If he knows he couldn't cut it before, how ambitious is it to try again, when he must know deep down that he'll never be at clubs as big as Leeds or Leicester again? In any case, Maybury is far more well-known down south than Nicholson is, so the idea that Maybury needs to make a name for himself whilst Nicholson doesn't is a strange one indeed. In that case, why is he constantly talking about how he'd be prepared to stay? Front up and sign, or admit that all you're interested in is the bigger pay-packet down south. Yes; he will be getting more money than Hart. As you stated, Hart was one of the lowest paid members of the first-team squad. Maybury is reputed to have been offered roughly three times as much money as Hart was earlier this year. I've already answered that question above, and if you needed to ask it again, then you've misunderstood my point. I'm not saying that Maybury should sign for Aberdeen. What I'm saying is that Maybury is being disingenuous and that he should be honest about why he's dithering, and stop fucking around with the fans' hopes.

We blew 2 semi-finals this year. We could quite easily have been in two cup finals, with a genuine opportunity of winning at least one. Who's to say that next year will be any worse? What professional footballer doesn't want to win silverware? Let's not forget that we played well below our capabilities for much of the season, and that next year could hopefully be much more consistent. As you rightly recognise, football players routinely do anything or say anything in order to get their faces in the press when they're looking for new contracts. If he had any real interest in signing for us, he would have done so by now. Nicholson has said that it's not about the money, and I'm inclined to believe him. He could easily have sat in the Rangers reserves instead of going to Dunfermline when he did. He's clearly stated that he wants a new challenge, not more money. Perhaps I'm overly gullible, but I do believe that there's some truth in that. If I was a professional footballer, I'd want to try my hand at different styles of football. Maybury has had his shot down south, and he didn't do particularly well at all. He's now found a fairly cushy number up here, but he's prepared to sacrifice that for the sake of an extra few grand a year.

I don't for a second blame someone for wanting more money. What I object to is the fact that so many footballers now sacrifice everything else at the altar of finances. Job security? Fuck it. Nice place to live? Fuck it. Potential for genuine achievements? Fuck it. Quality of life? Fuck it. SHOW ME THE FUCKING MONEY Let's face it, Maybury is hardly going to be living on slave wages if he signs on up here. Any idea that he's somehow going to be hard done by financially if he plays for us next year is just insane.

What guarantee does he have he'll get a club anywhere near his house down south? Moving down there will probably mean buying or renting another place anyway - I'm sure that on his wages, the poor lamb can scrape together enough loose change to afford another place or even rent one. Why would he want to sign for Aberdeen? Regular starting berth, chance of winning a cup, chance of European football, wages above and beyond anything most folk can dream of, regular TV exposure. How many of those would be available if he gets a move to a League 1 or League 2 club? This boils down purely and simply to cash, as per usual. YET ANOTHER WHORE

"I'd prefer to return to England" = "Fuck the stability and first-team slot which I've found up here; I want more cash." Professional footballer whores himself to the highest bidder - quelle surprise.

95. Mackie's Scoring Streak Continues

I am out of shape and have a massively inflated opinion of my own abilities. Some people would say that I'm a total waste of space and never contribute anything worthwhile. I occasionally pop up during the good times to take credit for other people's achievements. Despite my general laziness and ambivalence when it comes to team-work, for some reason I manage to keep hold of my position indefinitely.

91. Dons Triumph at Ibrox Courtesy of Dubious Penalty

Which of our players would you put in an SPL Team of the Season? Still, his selection is a joke, but then he's about the worst football pundit on the go in Scotland. Fuck me, even Mrs 'Chuck is a better judge of a player than Murdo McLeod. 4 out of 5 defensive positions filled by Huns, two of whom only played half a season? Don't think so, Murdo. Check the goal difference: Rangers' defence conceded almost 30% more goals than Celtic's. McGregor ahead of Boruc? Nope. Weir ahead of McManus? Nope. Kalvenes ahead of Hammell? Nope. Noel Hunt at right wing? Nope. Mark Kerr ahead of Stephen Hughes? Nope. In short, I don't think he's got it wrong in terms of omitting our players, but some of his decisions are baffling.