It's probably been done before but I can't find it so here goes.

 

I'm in a restaurant.

 

 

People that photograph their food.

That's what you get for dating 20 year olds.

I had no choice.

 

Her 17 year old sister was washing her hair.

I had no choice.

 

Her 17 year old sister was washing her hair.

 

Aye you fucking wish min

Grammar nowadays

Lack of numeracy skills

Huns

 

People who... no wait, that's not it.

 

People that... no.

 

People. They bug me.

 

 

 

And top buttons done up on shirts and polo shirts. Fucking poncey poofs.

 

 

Bad grammar and poor spelling on texts, emails, social media etc. Write in sentences and learn how to spell good

This'll upset a few.

 

 

Baseball caps

 

 

Has there ever been anything so stupidly designed to go on your head?

Cheap and nasty bastards of things.

 

While we're at it.

I saw a yank family the other day including Dad and a couple of sulky looking teenage boys about 14 and 16

 

All three wearing fuckin baseball caps.

 

Now, when I was a sulky 14 year old, if anyone had told me I had to wear the same clothes as my father I would have spontaneously combusted.

This'll upset a few.

 

 

Baseball caps

 

 

Has there ever been anything so stupidly designed to go on your head?

Cheap and nasty bastards of things.

 

While we're at it.

I saw a yank family the other day including Dad and a couple of sulky looking teenage boys about 14 and 16

 

All three wearing fuckin baseball caps.

 

Now, when I was a sulky 14 year old, if anyone had told me I had to wear the same clothes as my father I would have spontaneously combusted.

 

Ripped jeans (why would you do that)

Tattoos

Girls (usually) who can't say a sentence without the word "like" in it

When I were a lad.......

 

When you got new jeans you practically had to stay inside.

A figure of mirth for everyone to point and laugh at.

 

But

 

Once you had worn them in, volunteerd a few times to play in goal so you got them extra spattered in mud.

 

Faded them and torn them with your own efforts.

 

Then you had YOUR jeans, a thing to be proud of.

 

 

 

The rot started with pre faded jeans

Common sense, it's something that so many people, young and old, don't have anymore and it does my head in.

 

Putting others first, lots of people, in London particularly, are selfish fucksake and won't do the decent thing.

 

Eating with your mouth open, you do that and I want to punch you in the face and throw you under the nearest object. Its irrational but I know I'm not alone. Fucking close your mouth you moronic twat. I dont care what is sustaining you, and I sure as hell don't want to hear about it.

When I were a lad.......

 

When you got new jeans you practically had to stay inside.

A figure of mirth for everyone to point and laugh at.

 

But

 

Once you had worn them in, volunteerd a few times to play in goal so you got them extra spattered in mud.

 

Faded them and torn them with your own efforts.

 

Then you had YOUR jeans, a thing to be proud of.

 

 

 

The rot started with pre faded jeans

 

And sitting in the bath until they shrunk to your size!

 

Other annoying things :

People walking down the street staring at their mobile phones

People checking their phones every minute (aren't I interesting enough for you, then)

Mobile phones, basically (only ever had one for a week)

 

 

People who start sentences with SO

 

Folk who call the ground the floor when it's outside

 

People who say pound instead of pounds

 

 

 

 

Pouting for selfies    When's that shite going to stop.Are they so thick they think we dont know?....

Facebook

 

 

 

 

 

 

I mean, what a ridiculous fuckin name to start with.

Watching the EPL on the telly (I know, I know but it's the only live fitba I can watch, the MLS is just terrible, a retirement home for European pros who dodn't go to China).

 

The uberwank over any English-born player id irritating.

So, people who don't look where they are going when walking down the street. Particularly those who suddenly stop for no apparent reason and give no consideration to those behind walking in the same direction, and those who walk out of a shop without looking in both directions.

I start some sentence with So 

 

People who call the U fucking K...a country.

 

Shite Rappers

 

ACDC and their fans 

 

Rudeness

 

Very loud talkers in restaurants (usually english, germans or americans ive noticed)

 

Tories

 

People with no sense of humour

 

Scots who dont support their own national fitbaw team.

 

Huns

 

Groups of lads looking to kick and stomp on someones head

 

Violence

 

ISIS

 

Religion

 

Great white sharks

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bad manners!

 

Wankers on phones that don't realise they are fucking mobile. Get to fuck out the room.

 

Wankers on phones that hold then in the most ridiculous posiions but not over their fuckin lug!

 

Kids on phones and ipads!

 

 

Pouting for selfies    When's that shite going to stop.Are they so thick they think we dont know?....

 

I was in Revolution one night a few weeks back and 4 lassies in the mid 20's spent around 40 minutes just taking selfies... not even an exaggeration. There was very little talk between them and even less drinking. As stunning as they were, they looked like f*cking mongs just posing and pouting for such a long length of time. The world is becoming more retarded by the day.

Grown adults that have the ability of a newborn baby to control their emotions.

 

The arrogance shown by (anyone but especially) religious types looking down on us non-religious types. And the arrogance of humans who for some reason believe they are more important or more valuable a life form than others. "Kill all seagulls. The cunts wake me up" and the like. Gtf with that shit.

I was in Revolution one night a few weeks back and 4 lassies in the mid 20's spent around 40 minutes just taking selfies... not even an exaggeration. There was very little talk between them and even less drinking. As stunning as they were, they looked like f*cking mongs just posing and pouting for such a long length of time. The world is becoming more retarded by the day.

 

I saw a couple of blokes - and I mean blokes, not wee laddies or anything, these guys looked your football types - in the South Stand on Saturday taking selfies  as the game was going on. 

 

Repulsive, abhorrent behaviour and exactly the sort of thing a football banning order should be given for.

Can we not just bring back punching folk in the face.

 

Anyone who takes a picture of themselves is just crying out for a smack on the nose.

 

 

There should be a reward for anyone doing this.

Grown adults that have the ability of a newborn baby to control their emotions.

 

The arrogance shown by (anyone but especially) religious types looking down on us non-religious types. And the arrogance of humans who for some reason believe they are more important or more valuable a life form than others. "Kill all seagulls. The cunts wake me up" and the like. Gtf with that shit.

 

Jesus forgives your intolerance of others.

Jesus forgives your intolerance of others.

 

That's a relief because if I'm wrong then I'll be reliant on his forgiveness.

 

Another one for the list..

 

Folk who don't bother their selfish arses to cleanup after their dogs. I always seems to be dodging dog shite whether it's in toon or further-a-field.

 

 

Folk who don't bother their selfish arses to cleanup after their dogs. I always seems to be dodging dog shite whether it's in toon or further-a-field.

 

It should be a capital offence for both dog and owner.