Linford Christie goes to a golf club, nice day and he fancies a round. The man on the door stops him before he can get in. "Sorry mate, we don't let your type in here", "What do you mean my type?" Linford replies. "Just your type mate, but theres a club 30 minutes down the road that'll let you play". Linford is in shock and replies "Do you know who I am? I'm Linford fucking Christie"............ "Fucks sake fair enough, 10 minutes down the road you cheeky cunt"

Max Clifford released a statement yesterday relating to his connection with the paedophile charges.

 

"With my help, we'll help the police catch these sick 7-year old female rapists".

The Vatican says that the Pope has resigned because he no longer has the strength to carry out his duties.

 

Fair enough.

 

At his age it can't be easy holding down a struggling 10 year-old.

He's retiring to return to his 2 original vocations.

 

Nazism and child rape.

A new Michael Jackson album has been released despite his death five years ago

 

Just because he was both black and white doesn't mean it's ok for his record company to milk him like a fucking cow