Jump to content

Saturday 30th  March 2024:  kick-off 3pm

Scottish Premiership - Aberdeen v Ross County

🔴⚪️ Stand Free! ⚪🔴

Un-PC jokes (If your easily offended don't open)


Recommended Posts

Q,why are asprins white?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              A,cos they work.                                                                                                                                   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 129
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Guest leith_red

Dear Jonathon Ross,

 

I've shagged your daughter.  Who's laughing now!

 

Lots of love,

 

Gary Glitter

 

A nigger and an apple fall from a tree at the same time.  Which one hits the ground first?

 

 

 

The apple...

 

 

 

 

....

 

 

 

 

 

....

 

 

 

 

 

the rope stopped the nigger.

 

 

5 signs you may be a tliban

 

1.  You have more wives than teeth;

2.  You own a £5000 rocket, but can't afford shoes;

3.  You refine heroin but have a moral objection to beer;

4.  You think vest come in two types: bullet proof and suicide, and;

5.  You wipe your arse with your hand, but consider bacon unclean.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Be warned. I know i'm already going to hell for saying these don't let you.....

 

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies.

 

You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitch fork.

 

 

Whats 16 inches long and makes women scream all night?

 

Cot death

 

 

What's got 4 legs and an arm?

 

A rotweiler in a nursery.

 

 

What's blue and orange and sits at the bottom of a swimming pool?

 

A baby with burst armbands.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A woman comes home to find her husband in bed with a female midget. Furious, she screams 'you promised me you wouldn't cheat on me again!' The husband says 'For fuck sake can't see you see I'm trying to cut down!?'

 

 

My wife told me to make love like in the movies. So I stuck it in her arse & came on her face. She got mad with me. I guess we don't watch the same movies!

 

 

I went for an interview at a blacksmiths the other day. "Have you ever shoed a horse?" he asked. "No but I've told a donkey to fuck off" I replied.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest leith_red

News just in from America, the sale of pillow cases and scissors up by 75% today!

 

On a similar thread...

 

 

Obama has only been elected 2 hours and he has already helped the US economy...

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

Sales of white sheets, guns and ropes have gone through the roof!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown suit

 

What's black and blue and hates sex?

The five year old in my cupboard

 

What's pink and orange and lives at the bottom of a pool?

A baby with slashed armbands

 

What's white and bobs up and down a baby's cot?

A paedophile's bum

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...