Un-PC jokes (If your easily offended don't open)

[boboisared]

:lolabove:

[glasgowdon]

 

 

 

[quirie]

[boboisared]

What do hide and seek and rape have in common?

 

Ready or not, here I come.

[minijc]

What do hide and seek and rape have in common?

 

Read or not, here I come.

Awful.

 

What's the difference between Alan Shearer and Newcastle united?  Alan Shearer will be on match of the day next season.

[Guest Nellie The Don]

Whats black and loves to fuck women?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cervical cancer.

[Guest leith_red]

What do you get if you cross the atlantic with a french airbus?

 

About halfway.

 

 

For those of you who fancy a holiday with a difference.....

 

.....

 

 

 

 

.....

 

 

 

 

Air France are now doing flights to the Titanic.

[dave_min]

What do you get if you cross the atlantic with a french airbus?

 

About halfway.

 

All Airbuses are French

[Kowalski]

A muslim has been shot in the head by a starting pistol.

 

Police have described the incident as race-related.

[Kowalski]

Paul McCartney was on the X factor on Sunday night playing the piano.

 

It was nice to see him fingering something with legs for a change.

[TENEMENTFUNSTER]

My girlfriend couldn't work out the anagram "A praised hero". So I raped her.

 

 

I tried a new sexual position last night, it's called the JFK.I splatter all over her whilst she screams and tries to get out of the back of the motor.

[Kowalski]

Q: What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

 

A: Gang rape.

[Kowalski]

Going to a charity disco tonight in aid of women who were born with no legs. Quite looking forward to it- the dancefloor will be crawling with fanny!

[mizer]

[Itch-E]

How long does it take a black woman to take a shite?

 

 

9 months.

 

 

I like black people. I used to have some black friends until my dad sold them.

[glasgowdon]

How long does it take a black woman to take a shite?

 

 

9 months.

 

 

I like black people. I used to have some black friends until my dad sold them.

 

Eh, great first post.

 

[Reekie_Red]

 

Haha, brilliant. Kinda reminds me of ...

 

[Sandaldinho]

Sorry, this one is compliments of the late Tommy Cooper...

 

Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.

 

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

[Kowalski]

Emile Heskey has been replaced in the England squad by a Cumbrian taxi driver.  Apparently he had more shots on target yesterday than Heskey had all season.

[quirie]

Helpful holiday advice from the cumbria tourist board:

For fuck sake remember and tip the taxi driver

 

 

Whats the quickest way to Scotland from Lancashire?

Just shoot your way through

[mizer]

Helpful holiday advice from the cumbria tourist board:

For fuck sake remember and tip the taxi driver

 

 

Whats the quickest way to Scotland from Lancashire?

Just shoot your way through

 

I have been waiting for jokes like these, surprisingly not heard any.

[manc_don]

Got a tip for a horse today.

 

Cumbrian Cabbie.

 

It's a 12/1 shot.

[El Padre™]

12 dead and 25 injured. See what happens when you let a bird drive?

[caledonia]

If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, do you think

 

1) You need more time together

2) She's a prude

3) She should have sat somewhere else on the bus

[Kowalski]

Cracking weather here today.

Minus 13 in Cumbria though.