AFC limericks

[OneBrianIrvine.]

An AFC limerick thread was started by Radiored (neeps as was) way back in 2019.
Saw mentioned it was missed so bringing it over here. Rico has approved this

 

Here’s the very first limerick from Radiored (the master of the gemme) which was dedicated to Cosgrove

 

A useless big laddie called Sam
Like a ham sannie devoid o' the ham
But at penalty kicks,
Wi a smirk 'tween eez chicks,
made the keeper feel like a right bam

 

And the final offering from Swaddon

The Dons have been battered in Greece
Which fair made me choke on my piece
Our players are sh*te
Yes, you hear me right
Maist of the c*nts are nae eese

[BigAl]

1 minute ago, OneBrianIrvine. said:

An AFC limerick thread was started by Radiored (neeps as was) way back in 2019.
Saw mentioned it was missed so bringing it over here. Rico has approved this

 

Here’s the very first limerick from Radiored (the master of the gemme) which was dedicated to Cosgrove

 

A useless big laddie called Sam
Like a ham sannie devoid o' the ham
But at penalty kicks,
Wi a smirk 'tween eez chicks,
made the keeper feel like a right bam

 

And the final offering from Swaddon

The Dons have been battered in Greece
Which fair made me choke on my piece
Our players are sh*te
Yes, you hear me right
Maist of the c*nts are nae eese

 

Fa's Rico 

[BigAl]

5 minutes ago, OneBrianIrvine. said:

Just joshing about him being a stickler

I know missus, just jesting

Look forward to reading them

[swaddon]

A lot of the posters left Mad
And went to DonsTalk, it's nae bad
We've been on the site
For at least a fortnight
And a good time for all has been had

They'll get better, I promise.

[Kowalski]

There was a young girl from Australia

Who thought all men were a failure

So she’d laid on her back

And opened her crack

And in backed a lorry and tailor. 
 

(c) Mr N Milanovic, 2023

[RicoS321]

A swarm of Dons Mad infiltrators

Wi' their limericks they did inundate us 

Their forum was burst 

Its punctuation was cursed

Or perhaps it's a brief hiatus

[Radiored]

It's a breath o' fresh air is Donstalk,
a forum which allows the word 'fuck'
It's efficiently run, 
nae sign o' a hun,
Ah'm so chuffed Ah could wank in ma sock!

Edited November 30, 2025 by Radiored

[Radiored]

Ah've rescheduled band practice the morrin
So tae the Kirkgate wee aa can be goin
Tae watch on teevee
oor game v Leevee
An' keep coont o' the goals we'll be scorin'  

( the game is technically/officially today, but it's still dark an' Ah've nae slept yet, so the game is still, at this point in time, for me ... 'the morrin'  )

Edited November 30, 2025 by Radiored

[Elgindon]

The bard fae Abmad,Radiored

migrated from there ,cos its dead

he's seen writin verses

when he says he rehearses

Then he Pogos himself into bed   

 

 

 

 

[swaddon]

The defence of our crown starts v Raith
We'll get through just fine, just have faith
If there's a toss-up
Between league or the cup
I'll be greedy, 'cos I want them baith

[Don Julio]

While I'm nae one to slag off the Beeb

Their cup headline fair made me seethe

'tic playing Talbot?

Have they all forgot?

The Dons hold the cup I believe...

[swaddon]

Their bias towards all things Tic

It makes me feel thoroughly sick

They think they're so good

They'll say nothing rude

All to please Paddy and Mick

[swaddon]

Next up is a team that's from France
I'm thinking we're in with a chance
If the team are on song
And they don't do owt wrong
We'll be having a song and a dance

[Elgindon]

Up next is a bunch of Alsacians

They come from a frog eating nation

Theyll say 'zut alors'

When we knock in number 4

As we rise once again to the occasion

 

 

Edited December 8, 2025 by Elgindon

[Don Julio]

Strasbourg is the home of asparagus 

Which is soft, white and bland - rather like us

But wait, that’s not true

We’ve scored 6 in 2

We’re bound to win ceteris paribus 

[Radiored]

While they're munchin' the legs aff amphibians, 
They wear necklaces made oot o' ingins
There'll be be nae Laissez-faire 
When we kick derriere 
An' show them the road tae oblivion.

[Radiored]

Right now, the mutton molesters,
Take on the frog leg digesters
Will we win? I say"Oui",
but if nae, Cest la vie,
Jist get right in aboot the hoormesters.

[Don Julio]

The weather at Todders was bracing

The Dons the game they were chasing

They pushed and they pressed 

But emerged second best

The match ended 1-0 to Racing

[Don Julio]

Not small and hairy like Frodo

More chic and stylish like Bardot

Our hopes they were up

To progress in the cup

But the French were just waiting for Godo…

[Don Julio]

This Christmas no carols or hymns

Or presents that meet all my whims

No turkey, no cake

All that I’ll forsake 

I just want to slaughter the Tims

[TheDonbytheDee]

Today's the day for a point, hopefully three.

Better than any present under the tree.

I've just got a fancy.

That we'll see off Nancy.

And leave us Dandies full of glee

 

 

Edited December 21, 2025 by TheDonbytheDee

[OxfordDon]

As this thread starts to grow over time, 

It's clear you lot can at least rhyme,

But then fears start to mount

That you buggers can't count

Hemmin, mind the fecking metre per line

 

 

Edited December 21, 2025 by OxfordDon

[tlg1903]

There once was a Tim boss called Nancy
Whose start the fans did not fancy.
Lost four on the bounce,
and now it's our chance to trounce.
So fingers crossed for some mutton pyromancy 

[Elgindon]

Our euro campaign is now over,

'mid results that certainly did sober

now Nancy boys we must face

'bout time they were put in their place

Wilfred in the boot o' a Land Rover

 

 

 

 

[OxfordDon]

1 hour ago, OneBrianIrvine. said:

‘Tis hard to say, if greater want of skill
Appear in writing or in judging ill;
But, of the two, less dang’rous is th’ offence
To tire our patience, than mislead our sense.
Some few in that, but numbers err in this,
Ten censure wrong for one who writes amiss;
A fool might once himself alone expose,
Now one in verse makes many more in prose.

Hemmin, keep the Pope out of fitba