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Stone Roses set to rake in loads of bucks


fatjim

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This is the one we've waited for them to cancel at the last minute

It has been 15 years since the La’s tribute band last disappointed thousands of fans by cancelling a show at the last moment because they were convinced their arms had turned into a brace of live trout.

 

Stone Roseologist, Wayne Hayes, said: "People are really looking forward to their lengthy conversations with Ticketmaster about refund policies, which has to be more enjoyable than seeing the band up close these days because they currently resemble an Altrincham Jobstart course for unemployed zombies.

 

"Not so much 'Made of Stone' as 'Made of Bits of Gristle and Tracksuit'."

 

Venues are already being scouted for the group to not play the two-dozen songs they managed to grind out during their 28-year career and it is felt that demand could be inexplicably high enough for them to fill the whole of Wembley Stadium, with the obvious exception of the stage.

 

Hayes said: "While their inevitable failure to turn up might be disappointing it will be a veritable Woodstock compared to paying eighty quid to watch Ian Brown shuffle and mumble his way around the stage, shaking his head like a nursing home resident refusing to take a bath.

 

"It's just possible that their legacy as a live act has something to do with the fact it coincided with an era when most of the audience contained enough Ketamine to drop a rhino."

 

The group will promote the not-tour with a four track EP of aimless wah-wah guitar, set for release on holographic 12-inch some time in the early 2040s.

 

 

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Mani has posted this on the Webadelica forum:

 

“I don't really wanna say too much at the minute,until I've had a chance to speak to the rest of the scream team. I will be playing my final scream gig,for the foreseeable future,at the Hogmanay celebration in Edinburgh. I have found myself manoeuvred into a position that, although myself and the scream knew it could always arise,kinda wish that it wasn't right now. We've just enjoyed our best year yet, well since I joined anyway,and started looking forward to the next project. One things for sure, with or without me, the scream are never stronger than they are right now.it's difficult to walk away from 15 years of watching people,families,bands grow up together, truly fucking heartbreaking,and my sanity has been pulled in a million different directions over it,but I have to finish my first dream off properly,good or bad. It wouldn't be fair for me to try and do both things either, each band command 100% respect and attention, but my intention is to never fully close the door with the scream, if that's possible. I skill always be there if they ever want to use me for anything, I now become part of the famous revolving door policy. I'll keep you up to speed on further developments, thank you for your undying support, it is very humbling, xxxx I love every man jack of ya. !. Xxx”

 

A top bloke.  Sad day for the Scream but hopefully he'll be back when he realises his talents are much more suited to the likes of Kill all Hippies and Kowalski!  ;)

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Mani has posted this on the Webadelica forum:

 

A top bloke.  Sad day for the Scream but hopefully he'll be back when he realises his talents are much more suited to the likes of Kill all Hippies and Kowalski!  ;)

Got a lot of time for Mani, Seems like a cracking bloke. Would be awesome If i get some tickets. Split up just before I turned 5. Was the kinda band that i got brought up with. Would be pretty special
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Nobody is laying claim to the source of this, but allegedly the rest of the tour gets announced on Monday:

 

Thu 28 June Heaton Park, Manchester

Fri 29 June Heaton Park, Manchester

Sat 30 June Heaton Park, Manchester

Thu 5 July Echo Arena, Liverpool

Sat 7 July O2 Arena, London

Sun 8 July O2 Arena, London

Wed 11 July SECC, Glasgow

Fri 13 July Slane Castle, Ireland

Sat 14 July Botanic Gardens, Belfast

Mon 16 July iTunes Festival, London

Fri 20 July Espacio Movistar, Barcelona, Spain

Sat 21 July Palacio de Deportes, Madrid, Spain

Mon 23 July Palais Omnisports de Paris-Bercy, Paris, France

Wed 25 July Futurshow Station, Bologna, Italy

Thur 26 July Datch Forum, Milan, Italy

Sat 28 July O2 World, Berlin, Germany

Sun 29 July Color Line Arena, Hamburg, Germany

Tue 2 Aug Globe Arena, Stockholm, Sweden

Wed 3 Aug Spektrum, Oslo, Norway

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Nobody is laying claim to the source of this, but allegedly the rest of the tour gets announced on Monday:

 

Thu 28 June Heaton Park, Manchester

Fri 29 June Heaton Park, Manchester

Sat 30 June Heaton Park, Manchester

Thu 5 July Echo Arena, Liverpool

Sat 7 July O2 Arena, London

Sun 8 July O2 Arena, London

Wed 11 July SECC, Glasgow

Fri 13 July Slane Castle, Ireland

Sat 14 July Botanic Gardens, Belfast

Mon 16 July iTunes Festival, London

Fri 20 July Espacio Movistar, Barcelona, Spain

Sat 21 July Palacio de Deportes, Madrid, Spain

Mon 23 July Palais Omnisports de Paris-Bercy, Paris, France

Wed 25 July Futurshow Station, Bologna, Italy

Thur 26 July Datch Forum, Milan, Italy

Sat 28 July O2 World, Berlin, Germany

Sun 29 July Color Line Arena, Hamburg, Germany

Tue 2 Aug Globe Arena, Stockholm, Sweden

Wed 3 Aug Spektrum, Oslo, Norway

 

Those dates (apart from Manchester) appear to be fake: http://www.nme.com/news/the-stone-roses/60017

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Heard on 6Music that Primal Scream are supporting one night.

 

Double shift for Mani?

 

He's officially left PS so can't see it, although they haven't announced a replacement.

 

Seems a bit of a risk by Stone Roses having a better band supporting them.  ;)

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We're delighted to announce the support acts for our Heaton Park shows as follows...

 

FRIDAY 29TH JUNE

Primal Scream

The Wailers

The Vaccines

Kid British

 

SATURDAY 30TH JUNE

Beady Eye

The Wailers

Professor Green

Hollie Cook

 

SUNDAY 1ST JULY

Plan B

The Wailers

The Justice Tonight Band (feat. Mick Jones, Pete Wylie & The Farm)

Dirty North

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