An AFC limerick thread was started by Radiored (neeps as was) way back in 2019.
Saw mentioned it was missed so bringing it over here. Rico has approved this 😉

 

Here’s the very first limerick from Radiored (the master of the gemme) which was dedicated to Cosgrove

 

A useless big laddie called Sam
Like a ham sannie devoid o' the ham
But at penalty kicks,
Wi a smirk 'tween eez chicks,
made the keeper feel like a right bam

 

And the final offering from Swaddon

The Dons have been battered in Greece
Which fair made me choke on my piece
Our players are sh*te
Yes, you hear me right
Maist of the c*nts are nae eese

There once was a boss from St Mirren

Who made the step up to the midden

He now must be thinking

“Just what was I drinking?

These boys keep their talents well hidden”

So now that the season is ower 

Steve needs to get right on the blower

"Dave, gie me some cash 

to sort out this pash

Or I'll tell a'body that you f*cked a whore!"

Our Graeme he started with Dyce

Then joined the Dons not once but twice

We're glad he came home

He's one of our own

And  he may well yet make it thrice?

Now a couple new signings are in

With some other ones put in the bin

Will we see any more

Come through the front door

Cos our squad now is looking gey thin

 

Donstalk has a new look this season

The chat has been good for this reason

What can the Dons do

Will it turn to goo

At least none have committed treason

The Dons will be playing the Hearts

Whose fans smell much worse than my farts

Will our season begin

With a loss or a win?

The worst or the best of league starts

I very near choked on my dinner

When Nisbet scored the match winner

As Hearts fell apart

I let out a fart

And now I’m a tiny bit thinner

Not sure if it qualifies as a limerick but I adapted Hearts radio gaga at the end of the match to

All we hear is your bottle crashing

Your teeth a gnashing

Your hopes a dashing

All we hear is your bottle crashing

Your teeth a gnashing

Your hopes a dashing

......

None of this is new

And no....body cares....

so ....

F@## you

The din of the Jambo’s teeth gnashing

When the dandies their hopes were a dashing

Drowned out chants of “Braga”

Instead they looked Gaga

As they shat it in classic Hearts fashion

(Variation on a theme by Erchie)

From chants of abuse and derision

To Nisbet’s penalty precision

Is there anything sweeter in rhyme

Than a winner in injury time?

Alexa….play Joy Division 💪

The Dons just got beat by the Dee

F*ckin' hell, oh deary me

We were worse than shite

And I think I just might

Drown all my sorrows with tea

Lo! Our mighty defence - all in white

What a resolute, glorious sight!

Bevan made them his bitch

left for dead on the pitch

like a drunk seagull's skittery shite

Last week we were much worse than poo

When Dundee hit us for two

But imagine my glee

When we beat them by three

What a difference that one week can do

Ex Dons lining up in the press

Suggesting the club was a mess

It's not a surprise

We saw with our eyes

So much for Dave Cormack's "prawcess"

The Dons are bang up for the cup

And the season is now looking up

The draw could be kind

Stenhousemuir I won't mind

Are we winning this thing? It's a yup

Of a cup semi draw v's Stenny,
Our chances are simply not any.
Papped oot by the diets,
on Friday, that's why it's
as likely as a match-fit Mawene.

The Japanese pay debts in yen

And Chipper’s the right term, ye ken?

These two things are true

This next one is too

Big Muller saves pen after pen after pen

20 hours ago, Radiored said:

Of a cup semi draw v's Stenny,
Our chances are simply not any.
Papped oot by the diets,
on Friday, that's why it's
as likely as a match-fit Mawene.

Imagine me nae kenning that

Oh boy, do I feel like a prat

The embarrassment's real

I must be a feel

I might go and post on the Hat.

The Rat-Munchers dominate possession,
but their striking skills called into question.
Nae chance o' them scorin'
Whilst the Dandies knock 4 in.
Great goals but Mouloua's the best yin.

I thought the result was a lie

When I saw it reported on Sky

But we pumped the Well

I know, bloody hell

We're winning the league now, oh aye

So the game with the Hibs was a draa

Which is nae fit we're needin' at a'

Nae fitba for noo

But don't cry "boo hoo"

They'll be back after three weeks awa'