Okay. Here's a news article in the Daily Express (why did I even bother). I've read it and read it and looked at the picture, and I can't fathom what's going on.

 

MCGHEE WANTS TO RETURN

 

 

PATERSON now pleading for a Pittodrie lifeline Jim Paterson has told Mark McGhee he wants a return to the SPL with Aberdeen next season.

 

McGhee is trying to thrash out a loan deal with Plymouth boss Paul Sturrock, after Paterson told No 2 Scott Leitch he would jump at the chance of a move to Pittodrie.

 

The Aberdeen boss added: “We are still waiting for Stephen Hughes to come back to us and we need an answer one way or the other because we now have other players on our radar.â€

 

Firstly, the heading talks about McGhee wanting to return. Then the first paragraph talks about Jim Paterson. The quote attributed to the first paragraph about Paterson appears to be talking about Stephen Hughes. And then the photograph ... I can't even figure out who it is. but I'm sure Reebok have nothing to do with either Aberdeen or Motherwell.

 

Are we playing Cluedo or what?

It was Pele with the broken bottle in the boot.

I've no idea about the story but a giant seagull appears to have shat on the refs back, maybe that is the Aberdeen connection you are looking for

Would it not be the Plymuff bench?

It's known as the scattergun approach Reekie; oldest trick in the book for creating a news story when you don't have one at all.

 

All it involves is an impressive-looking headline and three unrelated sentences, all of which are quite vague and don't move any previous story on at all. Try and make one of these a quote.

 

Stick these sentences around a generic, non-specific photo and Bob's yer uncle until DNA tests prove otherwise.

 

Here's an example:

 

 

 

BOSS DEMANDS MORE

 

A football manager is looking to bring in a number of players to replace the ageing members of his squad.

 

 

The new club shop should be opened in three-to-four weeks, with Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond cutting the ribbon.

 

The club's recent signing said: "It looks like my injury has cleared up, and I am raring to start the next game if the manager picks me."

Haha. I suppose if any of the four topic-matters covered in that three-sentence news article come to fruition, the Daily Express can say "as revealed exclusively by us".

 

Does Charlie Allan moonlight with the Daily Express now?