royal deeside cowie

Back in the day I remember you were one of Milne's most enthusiastic happy clappers. Once it became clear he wasn't what you'd hoped for you became jaded and disgruntled and have been on a steady decline of cinicism ever since. 

You remind me of a Scottish Farage, brother

The first thing you need to is heal the open wounds you created with your behaviour. You burnt a lot of bridges with people and you need to go back and offer an olive branch to the many you offended with your madness. I can be your chaperone. 

Take my hand, brother. I'll show you the world. 

Jumping on the Collin bandwagon at the last minute. Looking at your predictions from before the final round its clear you do not have one single clue. Go to bed. 

Just stuck a pony on Scheffler at 11-2. Winnings being invested straight into my favourite keg at McGinty's. 

Listen brother, stick to flogging Dacia Duster's and leave the golf analysis to Colthard and co. You're out of your depth. 

And yet the night you got drunk in a hotel and abused Admin for your swansong finale remains one of Afc Chats lowest ebbes. You can hide out here in your echo chamber but please never try to claim you are above anyone there. You are beyond the pale. 

Is that how you concocted your imaginary `clients`? 

Pathetic apology which they've been made to do, not out of their own choice. Written for them by the clubs PR because they don't have the brains between them to write a sentence. 

Havers. How do you go from working in a car showroom to managing golf pro's? Walter Mitty's got nothing on you, brother

Amen brother. I'll never forget Muirfield. As a volunteer steward these days it's YOU who has to pay for the privilege to walk amongst the golfing gods with nothing more than a set of Sunderland waterproofs to show for it.

Don't hang around with him and don't know him. He was lingering around waiting on a score. Seems an affable enough chap though. Offered him the pint at 10 to 5 when it was clear Mr Scientist wasn't going to grab the olive branch. Has there ever been a ruder man than RS? You could offer this jaded prick the world and he'd throw it back in your face.

Keep it on topic, chaps

Would love to tell your pint is still in the the tank, brother. However it was snaffled at ten to five yesterday in a moment of opportunistic Intervention by our mutual acquaintance Piddler. We live and learn. 

Looks like your romantic dinner is cancelled indefinitely now, laddie. Can't say I didn't find that exceedingly humourous. 

Been sinking a few wet ones in McGinty's all afternoon. Making the most of it because who know when I'll be back. 

If you don't understand it it's a fallacy to say it's innovative. The tech mumbo jumbo may fool the naive old heads but its doesn't fool me. And no, they certainly should not be getting paid. The biggest scam since DNA. 

A game which everyone is trying to forget and some clown on twitter wants to analyse the 'packing data'. The term 'loser' springs to mind. Analyse that. 

Manboobs109 is already on the case and it promises to be boring as fuck

Rico, the problem with drama queen's like Mr Scientist here is that they're  afraid to be challenged. He would rather sit alone on this forum listening to his own echo than be stimulated by someone who surpasses him, both in terms of intellect and sexuality. He'll never change Rico, as everyone who's ever known him can attest to. 

Might have guessed you would decline my invitation. In this case it's the fear of being challenged. Intellectually you would be out of your depth, laddie. On a vast spectrum of topics ranging from economics to 19th century art decor, from sport to medieval history. It's the thought of being shown up that haunts you. 

As I said brother, there's a cold pint of export here with your name on it. 

Currently sinking a few wet ones in McGinty's. Will be here till midnight. There a pint at the bar with your name on it, brother.

It's words like these that convince me that in another life we could have been brothers. 

One of your biggest problems has always been overindulgence and overthinking. Typical Aberdonian. Take me by the hand laddie, I'll lead you to the promised land. The land of abundance.

Me and you and the jacobite will reign supreme. Resistance is futile.

We're singing from the same hym sheet, brother

It wasnt long ago we almost shared the same bed with your adorable fox. You have a king size Emma mattress that can easily accommodate three. And a wonderful wife with the same attributes. Sex is a basic human right and I remember you were the first to agree with me in principle my old friend. 

A sunbed ravaged wrinkled old wage thief who has bled the club dry with his wage demands while the players were left with a pittance and the fans pay the price for his lavish life. Mr Milne has a lot to answer for, allowing Deek to get so comfortable. With his feet so far under the table now he actually thinks he's untouchable. If Cormack doesn't get him out of the club this season I will cancel my season ticket and DNA. I will not fund Deek McInnes or his family's cosy lifestyle while he does so little.