Aberdeen FC boss: I’ll play defender Ifil as striker

McGhee reveals shake-up plans

 

By Charlie Allan

 

Published: 02/03/2010

 

ABERDEEN FC boss Mark McGhee today revealed he is considering playing Jerel Ifil up front to add some muscle to his strikeforce.

 

Aberdeen FC haven’t won a match since main target man Lee Miller moved to Middlesbrough in January for £600,000.

 

McGhee is contemplating asking defender Ifil to fill in until he’s able to sign a new striker.

 

To read what Mark McGhee said about Jerel Ifil, pick up a copy of today’s Evening Express or read our digital edition now

 

Considering he has the touch of a rapist, how on earth is this going to work?

How Wayne Rooney is helping Aberdeen FC find a new striker

Boss McGhee creates striker blueprint

 

Published: 03/03/2010

 

ABERDEEN FC boss Mark McGhee today revealed how he is using Manchester United star Wayne Rooney as the benchmark in his hunt for a new striker.

 

McGhee admitted he can only dream of ever being able to afford to buy someone in Rooney’s league.

 

But the Aberdeen FC manager has drawn up a list of the England star’s attributes and has used that as his blueprint in the hunt for the best striker that he can afford in the summer.

 

Why not just list Roy of the fucking Rovers' attributes as a basis for finding a player???

 

Fuck sake Mcghee was a striker so he should already KNOW what a fucking striker is!

 

We've been given an unbelievable amount of shit to swallow since FT in the last game of last season.

So finally we discover the primary difference between Calderwood and McGhee.

 

Calderwood looked for players who would "kick their Granny"

 

McGhee looks for player who will "shag a Granny"

 

Seriously though what's on this list.

 

Receding Hairline:              Yes/No

Large amount of Freckles:    Yes/No

Ugly:                                Yes/No

Annoying wife:                  Yes/No

Shit taste in baby names:    Yes/No

Scouse accent:                  Yes/No

 

 

McGhee is probably suffering the same fate as Calderwood here. The North East press are so fucking desperate for a story they'll take any remark and twist it into a story to fill some inches in the sport pages. That in turn gets analysed and disected by the message boards, until the only logical conclusion is that the manager is a fat weegie oaf/tactically naive Celtic sympathiser* (delete as appropriate)

Utter nonsense story.

I wonder if Sir Alex is using the 'Jerel Ifil Blueprint' to sort out his defence for next season.

I wonder if Sir Alex is using the 'Jerel Ifil Blueprint' to sort out his defence attack for next season.

 

Aye. we would be better off we diamond up front!!! roll on transfer window to see what mcghees actual plans are!

Aye. we would be better off we diamond up front!!! roll on transfer window to see what mcghees actual plans are!

 

That thought makes me scared.

Aye. we would be better off we diamond up front!!! roll on transfer window to see what mcghees actual plans are!

 

I'll take a guess - he'll spend most of summer trying to sign 2 or 3 players he knows he can't afford then when we sign nobody he'll give a completely baffling press conference where he lectures us about the financial state of the club and tells us to lower our expectations for another season.

I'll take a guess - he'll spend most of summer trying to sign 2 or 3 players he knows he can't afford then when we sign nobody he'll give a completely baffling press conference where he lectures us about the financial state of the club and tells us to lower our expectations for another season.

 

Whilst we sign Dobbie, Dobie, Dopey or whoever on loan!

I'll take a guess - he'll spend most of summer trying to sign 2 or 3 players he knows he can't afford then when we sign nobody he'll give a completely baffling press conference where he lectures us about the financial state of the club and tells us to lower our expectations for another season.

 

That's what I've come to expect but with almost 6 months until the close of the next transfer window surely to fuck SOMETHING positive will happen...

 

...it's late. I'm clearly tired and delusional. 

I'll take a guess - he'll spend most of summer trying to sign 2 or 3 players he knows he can't afford then when we sign nobody he'll give a completely baffling press conference where he lectures us about the financial state of the club and tells us to lower our expectations for another season.

 

Is the correct answer.